Why Our Son is Intact

I've been meaning to do a post on this for quite some time.
I know different people feel differently about this topic and I am not writing this post to start a debate or to persuade anyone in any way, but just to share my thoughts and how we went about making our decision. However, if you happen to disagree or even be persuaded, then that is fine. As noted before, this blog is about how I "mommy" and that's it.

So, why is my son intact?

The short answer:
Because that's how he was born.

The long answer:
I had never thought much about circumcision, I just assumed all boys were circumcised and that my son would be too. But, my doula (man, I've referenced her a lot in this here blog, she's pretty amazing), when teaching our Bradley courses, mentioned it to me and got me thinking. She too was pregnant with a boy at the time and was telling me how she and her husband were researching circumcision, trying to come to a decision. I, naively, didn't realize there was a decision to be made.

Photo credit: maashallah.com

So, she explained to me that it is very difficult to find unbiased research on the subject, and then sent me an article her pediatrician offers his patients and also sent me to Wikipedia. Obviously, as a researcher, I shy way from that source, but it is actually unbiased in this instance. I wanted to know what was done in the procedure and why people through the ages have chosen it or not.

I was struck mainly by the pain of the surgery on the infant boy. In other places, I saw horrible images of babies strapped down and restrained, which brought me to tears. My newborn belonged nowhere other than in the arms of his mama or some other loving family member, not strapped to a piece of plastic having pain inflicted upon him.

I learned there is no medical need to circumcise a healthy baby boy and my favorite phrase that stuck out to me was something like this: "Saying a circumcised penis is cleaner than an uncircumcised one is like saying an eyeball is cleaner without an eyelid." Ahh. So, the foreskin actually functions to protect the penis. Go fig.

Then there was the issue of, "Will he be made fun of?" And I learned two things.
1. From my husband: the kid who makes fun of him will be made fun of looking.
2. Circumcision rates worldwide are drastically declining. Only about one third of males are circumcised nowadays. Say what? If I circumcise my son, he will actually be the minority? Interesting.

Photo credit: forum.japantoday.com

Also, and I'm learning to apply this logic to other areas of my life as of late: Just because I'm worried what other people think, doesn't mean I need to change my mind. Take homeschooling, for example. Yes, I wonder (sometimes, I worry) what other people will think, but that doesn't mean I will bend on my convictions. Lately, I've been dealing with this philosophy regarding Halloween. And vaccinations. And, and, and....the list goes on. Since when am I willing to put my child's well-being below pleasing others? Nope, sorry.

Then there's the whole issue some people long ago raised with the idea that an uncircumcised penis "enjoys" sexual...well...feelings more. So, if we don't want our boys masturbating, we better circ them, darnit! Sorry, as my husband pointed out, that's not going to...well...stop them. And besides, why, if it feels better, would we alter that for our sons?

Finally, I know that any neonatal surgery can have an ill-effect on bonding and breastfeeding and I wasn't willing to do anything to compromise our breastfeeding relationship.

Anyhow. There are many reasons out there for not circ'ing, but these are the ones we discussed and our answers to them. I trust God made my son they way He intended him to be--without leaving anything there for me to "fix" or "correct". And I trust I can raise my son to be strong and stand up against bullying, knowing that man is made in God's image. And, I had to follow my instincts and take care of my son the best way I know how.

You're free to disagree with me. But I have yet to regret our decision and I trust Burkley too will appreciate that we respected him enough to leave him intact.