Cosleeping: Our Story

Welcome to the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival hosted by Monkey Butt Junction . Our bloggers have written on so many different aspects of cosleeping. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

There are many things parenting-related that I am passionate about.
Cosleeping is one thing that has really, really worked for us.
While I don't know that it is for everyone, I do know that it has really made our lives amazingly easy.

I remember that while pregnant, I was really interested in bedsharing and cosleeping and having my baby in our room. We didn't plan on bedsharing, but that first night when I finally had my baby home after a week in the NICU, I laid him in his bassinet and I laid in my bed...and...I just couldn't sleep. I kept peeking at him, wondering about every little sound he made (you know those newborn grunts and snorts!) and wondering if he needed anything or how I would know if he was really awake in there or just making noises. I also had gone a whole week of seeing my little guy sleeping in his bassinet at the hospital and I longed to just have him near me. So, I grabbed him, nuzzled up with him in the crook of my arms like I had read about in Dr. McKenna's cosleeping book, and fell peacefully asleep.

There was no turning back.

Burkley slept in my arms every night from that point forward until he was ten months old. People would ask how he slept at night, how often he ate, etc., and we hardly could give them a clear answer. After a month or two, once we had really gotten the hang on nursing, when he woke, I nursed him laying down and we all fell peacefully back to sleep. My husband, after the first couple weeks when he would help me get situated, soon grew to really love bedsharing. Neither one of us had to get up to go get the baby and neither of us were woken by a crying newborn, because when he would start to stir, I would nurse him and my husband never even knew what was going on. I barely had to open my eyes-- just enough to unsnap my nursing tank, get Burkley situated, and then close my eyes again.

At ten months old, things started getting pretty tight in our full-size bed. We decided to sidecar the crib. Now, at 13 months, he still only stays in the crib for the first few hours of the night, but it helps us settle into a good sleep with some space. He eventually winds up in bed with us around 1, 2, or 3 in the morning, which is just fine. Then we nurse and sleep soundly the rest of the night.

Recently, it occurred to me to put a little basket of toys and books at one end of his crib, so in the morning when he wakes up and I'm not quite ready to get up, he can entertain himself a bit. One of the best parts of cosleeping is being woken up by my baby each morning. His is the first face I see each day and it is so precious. Sometimes he wakes me up with a slap across the face (not meanly), sticking a finger up my nose, or I just hear him laying there talking and laughing. Now that he knows some signs, he will sometimes whip my covers off of me and sign for "milkies" or "more." It's really just heartwarming!

naptime

Bedsharing is only one way of cosleeping and I know it's not for everyone. Some moms I know wouldn't be able to sleep a wink with their kids in their bed, whether it be for fear or hurting them unintentionally, or because their babies flail around and make everyone have less sleep, or because for some, mom and dad's bed = playtime! But, for us, it works and it works amazingly well. Since Burkley was about three months old, I've more or less been sleeping all night, as has he, thanks to no one actually having to GET UP to take care of the nighttime feedings.

Another plus to cosleeping is that it has maintained our nighttime feedings, resulting in two awesome things:
1. My milk supply has never faltered, thanks to never going more than a few hours without nursing.
2. My period has still not returned...thanks to never going more than a few hours without nursing.

I really love that I can still bond with and be with my little guy all night long and am intimately aware of his sleep patterns. I love that my husband loves bedsharing as well and that it's helped him get good sleep as well as get in some good snuggles with Burkley.

*******
Thanks for reading a post in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival. On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the #CosleepCar hashtag.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

*******

• Emotive Co-Sleeping Campaign - Miriam at Diary of an Unconscious Mother talks about her feelings on Milwaukee’s anti-cosleeping crusade and its latest advertising campaign.
• Why Cosleeping has Always been the Right Choice for My Family - Patti at Jazzy Mama shares how lucky she feels to have the privilege of sleeping with her four children.
• Cosleeping is a safe, natural and healthy solution parents need to feel good about. - See how Tilly at Silly Blatherings set up a side-car crib configuration to meet her and her families' needs.
• Black and White: Race and the Cosleeping Wars - Moorea at Mama Lady: Adventures in Queer Parenting points out the problem of race, class and health when addressing co-sleeping deaths and calls to action better sleep education and breastfeeding support in underprivileged communities.
• Reflections on Cosleeping - Jenny at I’m a Full Time Mummy shares her thoughts on cosleeping and pictures of her cosleeping beauties.
• Cosleeping and Transitioning to Own Bed - Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine shares her experiences in moving beyond the family bed.
• What Works for One Family - Momma Jorje shares why cosleeping is for her and why she feels it is the natural way to go. She also discusses the actual dangers and explores why it may not be for everyone.
• Really High Beds, Co-Sleeping Safely, and the Humanity Family Sleeper - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama gives a quick view of Jennifer’s bed-sharing journey and highlights the Humanity Family Sleeper, something Jennifer could not imagine bed-sharing without.
• Crying in Our Family Bed - With such a sweet newborn, why has adding Ailia to the family bed made Dionna at Code Name: Mama cry?
• Dear Mama: - Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares a letter from the viewpoint of her youngest son about cosleeping.
• Cuddle up, Buttercup! - Nada of The MiniMOMist and her husband Michael have enjoyed cosleeping with their daughter Naomi almost since birth. Nada shares why the phrase "Cuddle up, Buttercup!" has such special significance to her.
• Co-Sleeping With A Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how co-sleeping calls us to trust our inner maternal wisdom and embrace the safety and comfort of the family bed.
• Fear instead of Facts: An Opportunity Squandered in Milwaukee - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses Milwaukee’s missed opportunity to educate on safe cosleeping.
• Cosleeping: A Mini-rant and a Lovely Picture - Siobhan at Res Ipsa Loquitor discusses her conversion to cosleeping and rants a little bit about the Milwaukee Health Department anti-cosleeping campaign.
• Our Cosleeping Story - Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares her cosleeping story and the many bonus side effects of bedsharing.
• Cosleeping can be safe and rewarding Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares how her cosleeping experiences have been good for her family.
• Adding one more to the family bed Lauren at Hobo Mama discusses the safety logistics of bed sharing with a new baby and a preschooler.
• The Truth About Bedsharing - Dr. Sarah at Parenting Myths and Facts discusses the research into bedsharing and risk - and explains why it is so often misrepresented.
• Cosleeping as a parenting survival tool - Melissa V. at Mothers of Change describes how she discovered cosleeping when her first baby was born. Melissa is the editor and a board member for the Canadian birth advocacy group, Mothers of Change.
• Dear Delilah - Joella at Fine and Fair writes about her family bed and the process of finding the cosleeping arrangements that work best for her family.
• CoSleeping ROCKS! - Melissa at White Noise talks about the evolution of cosleeping in her family.
• Safe Sleep is a Choice - Tamara at Pea Wee Baby talks about safe sleep guidelines.
• 3 Babies Later: The Evolution of our Family Bed - Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about how her family’s cosleeping arrangements evolved as her family grew.
• Tender Moments - The Accidental Natural Mama discusses tender cosleeping moments.
• Cosleeping Experiences - Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure describes how she ended up co-sleeping with her daughter through necessity, despite having no knowledge of the risks involved and how to minimise them, and wishes more information were made available to help parents co-sleep safely.
• The early days of bedsharing - Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her early memories of bedsharing with her then new born and gets excited as she plans including their new arrival into their sleeping arrangements.
• The Joys of Cosleeping in Pictures - Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares pictures of some of her favorite cosleeping moments.
• Symbiotic Sleep - Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children discusses how the symbiotic cosleeping relationship benefits not only children but also parents.
• Co-sleeping Barriers: What’s Stopping You? - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she was almost prevented from gaining the benefits of co-sleeping her family currently enjoys.
• Co-Sleeping with the Family Humanity Sleeper - Erica at ChildOrganics shares a way to make co-sleeping safe, comfortable and more convenient. Check out her post featuring the Humanity Organic Family Sleeper.
• Why We Cosleep - That Mama Gretchen’s husband chimes in on why cosleeping is a benefit to their family.
• Adding to the Family Bed - Darah at A Girl Named Gus writes about her co-sleeping journey and what happens when a second child comes along.

A big thank you to all of the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival participants!