Sunday, February 26, 2012

I'm a Natural Parent, but...I still use medicine

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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I often hesitate to give Burkley medicine when he gets sick.
Not to place blame, but I generally feel that my main hesitation stems from my involvement with various natural parenting groups.

It seems, at least on the surface, that many of the moms I know don't give their children medicine unless there are really dire symptoms present. I know that there are risks with medications and many over-the-counter drugs include things that are really not good for my little guy's system. However, there are times when he and I both would benefit from the relief that these medicines offer.

It also offers an interesting juxtaposition considering that my brother-in-law is a pharmacist.
So, there is a tug-o-war in my head each time I consider giving him medicine.

A sure sign of teething: rosy red cheeks
But, alas, I do.
Mainly I give it to him for teething relief...for both of us.
When he is teething, he bites. A lot. Hard.
And it hurts me.
So, in order to get him to nurse properly, and latch without discomfort, I give him medicine. Admittedly, I only give him about 1/4 or 1/2 a dose. Just to "take the edge off," as they say. One time I told my doctor that I only gave him 1/2 a dose when he had a bad fever (this was when he had the chicken pox) and I was telling her that the fever wasn't going down, and she said to me, "He needs a full dose!" like it was just common sense. I suppose that is common sense, but I always feel so guilty when I give him the medicine.

11 months old, with his amber necklace




I also prefer to try natural methods before turning to meds, but it really is just so easy to grab the bottle and give him a bit. He wore an amber necklace for a very long time, but besides the fact that it kept breaking, it didn't really seem to help when things got really bad. But, it sure was cute!

I do try to be judicious in my usage of medication. I try not to use it regularly. I try to use it only when things get really bad. (Which, I suppose defines judicious, but apparently I needed to elaborate.)

But, I do need to work on not feeling guilty when I do use it. The issue to me, though, is that knowledge is power. If I know that it could harm my child, I can't just happily agree to do it anyway. Thankfully, I have not seen any harmful effects, which I suppose is what makes me willing to continue to turn to it as an option.

I hope that this post does not leave you with an overall impression of guilt or regret. I do not want my parenting to cast that shadow. I want my parenting to be (not just appear) confident and certain, though I know it won't always be. I know that I'm doing the best I can for my child, and operating on a "what's best for us" system, as I trust you also use.

Please do not leave comments about the harmful effects of baby Tylenol, ibuprofen, or the like, as I have many studies and articles on those topics bookmarked. I've read them, discussed them, and thought about them a lot.

I am going to choose to parent with peace and freedom! I'm thankful for this Carnival for allowing me the opportunity to work through that process and get to this point.

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I'm a Natural Parent — But … Blog CarnivalThis carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
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18 comments:

  1. I know what it is like to be in pain. I figure that if I would need some pain relief, my child does too. I fully support letting a fever safely ride itself out, but when it comes to teething, I give my babies relief. It helps *everyone*!

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  2. I'm a pediatric nurse by trade, but I also like to parent holistically, and naturally where I can, so I try to walk a fine line, and not medicate where possible, or use natural methods.
    This weekend, we've all fallen victim to a horrible flu like virus. High fevers (I, myself at one point had a temp of 104!) Sweating, shakes, aches, no appetite, horrible snotty coughs, and we've all been miserable. I'm afraid all my natural parenting went out the window. I felt like death, and my poor babies must have too. We've been taking tylenol and ibuprofen, for relief, and I, after some careful reading, took some cold meds that have helped to dry up and clear the sinus infection that had started to manifest, (I get them, usually treat them naturally, but just couldn't cope with that, and "the flu" and 2 sick kids, this time) I feel no guilt (well, a little, when my 2 year old slurped his dose of meds and said "mmmm, niiiiiice") but they're helping relieve symptoms, ease the pain, and bring down raging fevers where natural methods weren't working so well. I'm also loading them up with the natural stuff, echinacea, elderberry, zinc, vit c and d, but if a few doses of chemical meds gets us through the next day or two, then I won't feel too bad! :)

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  3. We used to have to give Moira baby Tylenol when she was teething or she could not breathe while sleeping. For some reason, that stuff dried up her post nasal drip like nothing else we tried.
    I used to get yearly ear infections as a teenager, and it was the worst pain ever. Whenever I'm doubting if Moira needs western medicine, I remember how horrible that pain was, and that she can't efficiently describe how BAD it is. It usually helps me get over my residual guilt.

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  4. We also give OTC pain meds for things like teething or when they are sick and can't sleep, since I feel like sleep is the best medicine! I once heard that if adults teethed, we'd all be doped up on Tyloneal with codine- the pain is THAT bad! Since then, I haven't feel too terrible about breaking out the motrin!

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  5. aww your son is so sweet, reminds me of my son so much! I think there is a time and place for everything, and you know what you need to do for your son. Dont feel guilty, mothers instincts are the very best thing to rely on.

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  6. I am in the same boat as you, with the desire to avoid using medication when at all possible, but sometimes it does have its place. I think it is important to distinguish the trend of jumping straight to pharmaceuticals instead of tackling the underlying health issue and using medication wisely when warranted. I think that the hesitation to use it as a first resort shows how careful you are in implementing it and how much you respect it as a tool. I use them in the same way myself, keeping them for when I really need it.

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  7. yeah, don't feel guilty for this one; it's common to use OTC pain relief fpor teething and fevers, even for us sorta crunchy types! risk vs. benefit acetomentophin is pretty appropriate! Glad a partial dose helps! I often go for the whole dose or above it by up to 50% because the companies themselves err on under dosing when giving recommended dosages. If I'm going to risk the side effects, I may as well get the max. benefit of the medication while I'm at it (and for high fevers I often alternate between ibuprofin and acetamenophin because they are more effective together than alone, so overall your child will take in less medication and feel better. I also use this technique for myself post birth for pain during healing, and after surgery to manage pain.
    You're not alone! Great post.

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  8. While it may feel like a fine line to walk, I see it as a HUGE difference between regularly medicating and using medicine as it was intended when needed. You know the risks, and you evaluate them against the benefits for your family!

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  9. Me too! Teething SUCKS! We try alternatives first, and if that fails we do the OTC meds, and like you, it's an informed decision that is right for *us*. BTW-what a sweet little boy you have!

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  10. I agree with everyone above - I try everything I can before I reach for that bottle but if my efforts are not working then I provide him with the relief he needs. No guilt here either because I'm a mother first and want to do what is best for my child. Thank you for sharing.

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  11. This is such an honest post. While we are migrating away from conventional meds toward more holistic, natural remedies, I do find myself-- particularly in the middle of the night if someone has a fever and is fussing-- giving myself a reality check: am I not giving you Tylenol for me or for you? Is it to prove a point to myself about how "natural" I am or because I really believe you shouldn't have it? I continue to grapple with these questions and their answers and your post is a good reminder that I have more thinking to do on this.... :)

    -Kerry @ City Kids Homeschooling

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    1. Wow, so true! There are indeed choices I wrestle with simply because I'm trying to decide how "natural" to be versus trying things I know would offer my child some relief. Important reminder to put our child's needs above any ideology we're trying to uphold.

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  12. I am right there with you, friend. I have always given my son a bit of medicine if he really seemed to need it, but I typically give a smaller dose, and as rarely as possible. In January, something happened that took away my mama-guilt over giving him tylenol. He had been fussy; I feared he had an ear infection. I kept a close watch on it and tried some natural ways of soothing it. Then one day, I woke up with a KILLER pain in my ear. KILLER. I hadn't felt ear pain like that since I was a child probably. I took us both into the doctor and we both had horrible ear infections. I felt horrible. I knew how much pain I was in, and I wanted to curl up into a ball and die when I thought of the pain that HE had been in. I hate admitting that it took my own pain to realize how much he needed the relief, but it's a lesson I won't forget. When he indicates to me that he is in pain, I give him what I need to give him to ease it.
    You sound like a great mama -- seeking out knowledge, coupled with wisdom - your babe is lucky.

    xo

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  13. I'm all for letting things run their course and treating the child not the symptoms, but sometimes you just NEED to break out that bottle of children's motrin and get that fever down so everyone cans sleep! My girls have both had antibiotics for ear infections because I could not handle riding it out. My son pukes up all medicine, and there have been times I have just *prayed* please let me get one freaking dose in him so he will feel better and sleep! And, like Rachel above, I also had an ear infection about a year ago and I could not believe how much it flipping hurt. Totally new perspective there!

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  14. For the love of all that's natural - NEVER beat yourself up for doing what you need to do to keep your little one healthy and pain free. I am the first person to pontificate about the dangers of OTC meds and antibiotics but even I have given them to my daughter on occassion. Sometimes it is just what the situation calls for. You go with your instincts and that is all you can do! Great "admission" post mama!

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  15. To me, that's what Western medicine's there for — to use when it's needed. My crunchy-ish philosophy is to take care of what I can on my own, but not to eschew the professional/pharmaceutical help when it's something we can't handle. And tooth pain is the worst! I hope I can figure out if my baby has teething pain, because Mikko didn't seem to (or did he and I missed it??), so I can do something to help. Thanks for this post!

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  16. I'm with you! There were many nights before my son could talk when he was having unusual trouble sleeping and seemed very freaked-out; a half-dose of baby ibuprofen would get him sleeping peacefully within 30 minutes, so I figured pain was the problem, and purposely keeping him in pain wasn't good for any of us!

    He is 7 now and allergic to springtime pollen. After reading about natural remedies for spring allergies last summer, this year I have him taking extra Vitamin C every day starting this month, and he is eating more local honey. But if his allergy symptoms get bad anyway, I won't hesitate to give him Benadryl. The only time I felt guilty about it was when he was in full-day preschool and school policy was that medication had to be administered on a schedule, not "as needed," so he was getting it every day at 12:30 whether he needed it or not...but better that than have him miserable until the school called and made me leave work to get him! His current school is willing to do "as needed."

    I do go more natural by insisting on the dye-free versions of the above medications. My son said that last year, the school nurse asked him, "Are you allergic to dyes?" and he said, "No, but I don't want to swallow a bunch of Red 40 for no reason," and she looked thoughtful for a moment and said, "You've got a point there!" :-)

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    1. Haha! That's hilarious! And so smart of him! Burkley is actually allergic to dyes, so that's something we'll have to keep in mind if there's ever someone else giving him medication. Though perhaps by then he'll outgrow the sensitivity. I can't believe your son's previous school only gave medicine on a schedule- I'm not familiar with that rule. But you're right, pain relief is a blessing of current pharmeceuticals and we need not have guilt for taking advantage of it from time to time.

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