Remembering

I decided to write a poem in honor of National Poetry Month

Remember when you were the size of a pea?
When I couldn't believe everything was okay?
I kept asking for more-
More checkups, more ultrasounds, more doppler heartbeat listens, more asurance.
Such a surprise, you were.
Last time, the one before you, did not go well.
That baby was stuck-
Makes me feel so claustrophobic to think about.
Stuck, like a balloon trying to inflate inside a straw.
Did it feel?
Grow?
Develop?
I will never know.
But now, here you are. In my arms.
A fast-forwarding of a time he/she never had.
You'll always be my baby, but I hate when people ask if you're my first.
You are the first baby I delivered, I birthed.
The first baby to bring me joy,
The first baby to smile at me with a smile only a mama gets.
You are the first baby whose silky, chubby skin rubs against mine during the night.
The first baby I nursed,
The first baby I clothed,
Bathed,
Snuggled,
Saw.
But you are not the first baby I loved.

A little blurry, but we can't help it-he was being wiggly and silly. :)