EC Update and New Routines

We have been having some serious fun over here with EC (elimination communication) and making some major progress.

Lately I've been struggling with how to jump the hurdle from EC to full potty-independence with Burkley. He's two and a half and I feel like this has been a long road. We started EC with him when he was eight months old. We loved it and totally saw it "work." I cued him when to go, and he'd go. Amazing. But, that started almost two years ago now. When would he ever be able to just go on his own (in the toilet)?!

A few days ago I was talking to Momma Jorje, a friend I made when I volunteered with the Natural Parents Network,  and I was trying to work through what the invisible hurdle could be for Burkley. Was he just "not ready"? Was I inhibiting something in the way we were doing things? I came to the conclusion that maybe I was being a bit too controlling (for about a year now, I simply have been taking him to the toilet every hour and he'd go) and not giving him a chance to tell me when he needs to go. So, on Day One of our "new plan" I decided to just not tell him when to go and see what happened. That was pointless. He peed in his pants all day long. That night I posted the question in a Facebook group I belong to (Diaper Free Baby) and asked for some help.

I was overwhelmed with encouragement. The folks there were telling me that if he still needs my support and communication, then I should keep giving it to him. Well, of course! Why didn't I think of that? Yes, we do have the issue of him being a toddler and wanting to demonstrate some independence, but that doesn't mean he's ready for me to fully "leave him alone" regarding pottying. We also were dealing with the dilemma that Burkley cannot undress himself in any way. He's never been a baby or kid who liked to undress himself or be interested in that at all (which, I admit, has been nice). So, he always needs help when going potty because he can't pull down his pants or anything on his own. So, my pals over at Diaper Free Baby suggested I just stop dressing him. Not that I stop helping him get dressed, but that he just not wear clothes. Aha! Brilliant.

Day Two of the new plan meant only wearing a shirt. He instantly got it. He knows where the toilets are. He knows where potty goes. Without having to tell me or me tell him, he just sat down and went! I think he likes the responsibility of taking care of it himself. I do remind him to go from time to time, but other times he just goes on his own or tells me, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" and comes running. By Day Four, we were at the point where he was even pooping on the toilet by himself, without even telling us (this is huge and has been our hurdle for a long time since he's been struggling with diarrhea for about seven months).

Nakey-booty napping babes :)

I'm not ready to say he's fully potty-independent yet and he still needs to be reminded go stop playing and go potty from time to time, especially when we're out and he's dressed, but we have made huge strides these past few days.

Additionally, we've started doing "nakey naps" as we call them. The boys sleep without any bottoms on. This adds another level of responsibility that he takes seriously. He's been dry during naps for almost two years, but he goes right when he wakes up and adamantly refuses to go to the toilet when he wakes up simply for the sake of being stubborn and goes in his diaper. But, with "nakey naps" he will get up and go to the toilet once he's awake.

And then, lo and behold, also on Day Four, he started showing us he can take off his clothes! I view this as a milestone and can't help but assume he has some new confidence in his independence and is willing to try new things.

As for Cadriel, he too is rocking the EC! I've learned his patterns and his cues and he is even dry all night sometimes (with me catching his pees, not that he doesn't go all night)! During the night he doesn't go when he's sleeping though, which is awesome, especially because he's currently giving me a good 5ish hour stretch. When he wakes to nurse, he pees, and either I feel like pottying him or I don't. I do find though that the nights I just have him in a prefold (no cover, no doubling up for a "nighttime booty"- as we call it) I am more diligent in pottying him and he is good about going. During the day we have some misses, but when out and about, he's often dry and will go when I give him a "pottytunity."

ECing with Cadriel has been a natural next step in our family. It's been "normal" for Burkley to see Cadriel go in the toilet (versus "weird" or whatever) because as far as Burkley can remember, he's been going in the toilet too. It makes sense for us to follow our kids' cues when we can read them and offer to meet their needs (right?!) and bonus, it results in less diaper laundry...although I really do love diaper laundry! :)

Cadriel pottying at the park (photo courtesy of Sarah)

Cadriel goes often and a lot, so there are more misses than I'd like, but he's usually diaper free, so the misses result in extra blanket laundry and changes of clothes for me more than anything! :)

We are all loving EC and what it means for our family. It enhances the connection my husband and I have with our kids and it has taught our kids that going in the toilet is normal and natural. We haven't had to have any kind of formal "potty-training" so to speak (as in charts, stickers, rewards, a certain time frame to finish by, etc.), it's just been a natural progression. I did give Burkley a piece of paper to put stickers onto on Day One, just to see if he was interested in that, but by Day Two he more or less forgot about it. Since then he's asked for a sticker about once a day, but mostly he doesn't care. Admittedly, it seemed weird to suddenly start offering him that "treat" for going in the toilet when he had never gotten a reward for it before. Just having the expectation and praising him when he meets it is what he's used to and for us, it works, and we love it. :)