I have no doubt that this could be a controversial post, but I wanted to take some time to discuss cosleeping.
First, let's get some definitions correct. According to Dr. James McKenna, author of Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parent's Guide To Cosleeping, cosleeping means that parent and child sleep in the same room. Bedsharing, on the other hand, is just what it sounds like: parent and baby share a bed. The terms should not be used interchangeably. While bedsharing is one form of cosleeping, cosleeping does not always refer to bedsharing.
We bedshare. For now.
Every parent has to make the decision that is best for his or her family. I'd like to offer the benefits of bedsharing here in case you are trying to decide what you should do. These are taken from A Look At the Cosleeping Debate, an article by Louise Edgerton posted on www.lifescript.com.
- Ease in breastfeeding
- Baby sleeps longer
- More sleep for parents
- Decreased separation anxiety
- Increased bonding
- Increased skin-to-skin contact
- Synchronized arousal and waking
Additionally, "Cosleeping promoters at LabourofLove.com state that, in child development, babies who have a secure attachment to their mother or parents (meaning that if the child feels secure his or her needs will be met by a responsive parent) tend to be less anxious, more exploratory, and learn faster than other children who have insecure attachment issues. Cosleeping allows parents to respond to the child's needs almost immediately and with little fuss, reducing separation anxiety and increasing a secure attachment. Bonding between baby and parents is heightened from increased contact" (Edgerton 2007).
And before you say, "Don't you worry you'll roll over on him?" I will address that common question with some thoughts of my own. First, when I'm sleeping for only 2-3 hours at a time before feedings, I am certainly not getting into deep enough sleep that I am rolling without knowing. Second, I sleep on my side with my baby safely in the crook of my arm, with no blankets or pillows around him to suffocate him, so that if I were to roll, it would not be on top of him, as that would mean rolling over my own arms, but rather I would roll away from him. Third, as described in Sleeping With Your Baby: A Parent's Guide To Cosleeping, Dr. McKenna reminds us that a mother knows where her child is. However, not all mothers should bedshare, especially those who are under the influence of alchohol, smoke, are obese, or have a husband (or sleeping partner) who falls into any of those lifestyles.
In the end, though, the choice is up to each parent.
And until it no longer works for us, these parents choose to cosleep and bedshare. (And I would like to note that at certain points during occasional nights, our son does spend time in his bassinet, but as he wakes and becomes agitated, he is brought back into bed with us.)
Great post, Adrienne! We co-slept with Ewan for a while, then he did very well in his crib, then we switched to a big boy bed and he was back with us until recently. lol Even now, he ends up in our bed at some point early in the morning. The new baby will co-sleep and possibly even bed-share (now that I'm not as big). It's not for everyone, but we feel like it has worked really well for our family so we'll continue it with this baby as well.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great posts!
word. we had a co-sleeper that was right next to my side of the bed and was FANTASTIC. I could scoop her right up and nurse in bed. (and who am I kidding, most of the time she'd stay there) ;) I'm a BIG fan of co-sleeping and bedsharing. IF done correctly.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that in the same way we know not to roll out of bed at night, we know where the baby is. And like you said the waking to nurse, and positioning.
also, he's super cute :)
ReplyDeleteWe actually co-sleep out of necessity...we only have one bedroom! There are definitely pros and cons, but like you said, each family figures out what works best for them.
ReplyDeleteI will say this...having bedshared a lot with both little ones: It was great for middle of the night feeding/comforting and was much less wear and tear on me in the transition. I did notice, however, that at a certain point with both of mine, they seemed to sleep better when I moved them back to their crib. I remember distinctly the point with both of them where I thought, "You know, he/she is moving so much right now, let me move him/her to his/her crib." And after moving each of them, I stood there and watched them heave a sigh of relief (ok, maybe I was reading into it, but my previously restless baby was suddenly calm and contentedly sleeping).
And, we still occasionally have one or both of them in bed with us, though they know the difference between that and their own beds now.
BTW- He is just too precious!