A little bit before we started babyled-weaning with Burkley, my husband and I discussed how we were going to talk about food at mealtime in our family. We decided that it would be a non-discussion issue at the table. We will talk about our days, whatever is on our mind, but other than the "Yum, this is delicious!" or "Next time I make this, I'll add more (fill in the blank)" we would not talk about who is eating what.
You see, we want to raise our kids with table manners. Adults do not look at each other's plate and say things like, "Eat one more bite of those veggies and two more bites of the fruit!" Or, "If you don't finish that, no dessert." Or, "Just try it and then you can have more of what you like!" Imagine if we did talk to each other like that!
Rather, we decided that we would put healthy options on everyone's plate so that whatever was eaten was nutritious. We don't need to pressure our kids into eating certain things on their plates more than other things. Nor do we want mealtime to be a gamble, an argument, or some weird math problem, "Two bites of that and three bites of this and you can be done!" We want it to be respectful.
Now, of course I say this without having dealt with a child who can talk back to me or argue with me, nor have I had several children all whom like different things. But, so far with Burkley, this practice has paid off. It has alleviated much potential stress on our parts and has taught Burkley that he has the autonomy to make choices about his food. There are certainly things he says "no" to or waves away when offered, but when offered again at a different meal, nine times out of ten, he accepts it. I also know that whatever does get ingested will benefit him with nutrients that are good for his growing body. Choosing to not comment on what and how much Burkley eats (this includes trying to refrain from saying "Good job!" when he does eat) really helps make mealtime a peaceful time, without causing him stress or envoking anger in us as we altogether avoid begging our child to eat certain things. Mealtime can be a fun, enjoyable time of day.
Thankfully, I also know that my breastmilk will fill in the gaps, if there are any, for what he has chosen not to eat. This is another reason why I am careful to plan wholesome meals. Everyone in our family needs nourishment and food to fuel our bodies. But, my body just so happens to be able to supplement and partially fuel another body.
In our family, we are somewhat foodies. We love good food, frequently try new recipes, and enjoy cooking meals together. We truly do like the taste of healthy food from diverse backgrounds and flavorful ingredients. We are vegetarian. We hope and plan to raise Burkley (and any future children) in this same manner. Maintaining a positive atmosphere around mealtime and food is our goal.
Mealtime, for us, is also a time of reading, hearing, and sharing God's Word. After breakfast, as often as I can, I try to read a Psalm out loud. At lunchtime we pray together, and after dinner, we read a Proverb. I look forward to when Burkley (and future children) are old enough to read along with us. Right now, Marcus and I enjoy reading together and we have been doing this for quite some time. It has become a nice tradition in our family. Sure, there are meals that we have to quickly clean up from because we have somewhere to be, or we just plain old forget, but we really try to be diligent with these habits.
We love mealtime. What do you do in your family to keep the peace at mealtime?
You see, we want to raise our kids with table manners. Adults do not look at each other's plate and say things like, "Eat one more bite of those veggies and two more bites of the fruit!" Or, "If you don't finish that, no dessert." Or, "Just try it and then you can have more of what you like!" Imagine if we did talk to each other like that!
Rather, we decided that we would put healthy options on everyone's plate so that whatever was eaten was nutritious. We don't need to pressure our kids into eating certain things on their plates more than other things. Nor do we want mealtime to be a gamble, an argument, or some weird math problem, "Two bites of that and three bites of this and you can be done!" We want it to be respectful.
Now, of course I say this without having dealt with a child who can talk back to me or argue with me, nor have I had several children all whom like different things. But, so far with Burkley, this practice has paid off. It has alleviated much potential stress on our parts and has taught Burkley that he has the autonomy to make choices about his food. There are certainly things he says "no" to or waves away when offered, but when offered again at a different meal, nine times out of ten, he accepts it. I also know that whatever does get ingested will benefit him with nutrients that are good for his growing body. Choosing to not comment on what and how much Burkley eats (this includes trying to refrain from saying "Good job!" when he does eat) really helps make mealtime a peaceful time, without causing him stress or envoking anger in us as we altogether avoid begging our child to eat certain things. Mealtime can be a fun, enjoyable time of day.
Thankfully, I also know that my breastmilk will fill in the gaps, if there are any, for what he has chosen not to eat. This is another reason why I am careful to plan wholesome meals. Everyone in our family needs nourishment and food to fuel our bodies. But, my body just so happens to be able to supplement and partially fuel another body. In our family, we are somewhat foodies. We love good food, frequently try new recipes, and enjoy cooking meals together. We truly do like the taste of healthy food from diverse backgrounds and flavorful ingredients. We are vegetarian. We hope and plan to raise Burkley (and any future children) in this same manner. Maintaining a positive atmosphere around mealtime and food is our goal.
Mealtime, for us, is also a time of reading, hearing, and sharing God's Word. After breakfast, as often as I can, I try to read a Psalm out loud. At lunchtime we pray together, and after dinner, we read a Proverb. I look forward to when Burkley (and future children) are old enough to read along with us. Right now, Marcus and I enjoy reading together and we have been doing this for quite some time. It has become a nice tradition in our family. Sure, there are meals that we have to quickly clean up from because we have somewhere to be, or we just plain old forget, but we really try to be diligent with these habits.
We love mealtime. What do you do in your family to keep the peace at mealtime?
Thanks for sharing this. I have just started Baby Led Weaning with our sixth month old but hadn't even considered how we would talk about food. I knew that because Maddie is nursing I wouldn't worry about how much she eats. But, it would be easy to start praising her for trying new foods or finishing what she is given. And I love the idea of Psalms and Proverbs at breakfast and dinner!
ReplyDeleteWhen my girls were that age they ate so well! It was incredible. The older they got the more their tastes changed, literally week by week they would stop liking something they previously ate. My 5 1/2 yo is at what I can only imagine is the pinnacle of her pickiness. My 7 1/2 yo is on the upswing again, which I am so grateful for. We play the "two more bites and you are done" game quite a bit with our 5 1/2 yo, too. But I think the best you can do is start them early and then keep offering healthy foods at every meal, even when they refuse everything.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm, this is exactly how I approached it. And you know what, I can't really complain. It is the best way to go.
ReplyDeleteI have kids that love things like brussel sprouts and broccoli.
However, the situation changes quite considerably when they get older. My kids are still not very picky, my 4 year old eats quite well, even if not in large amounts and my 2 1/2 year old is still breastfed, so I know, I am still supplementing his diet. I make sure that whatever I serve them is jampacked with goodness, so even if they don't eat much, they eat good food. I refuse to fill them with things they might eat more readily in larger quantities but that I would regard as lacking in nutrients.
If given the chance, my kids would eat just the condiments and not the meat or vegetables. So this is certainly a situation where I play the game "if you eat up all your vegetables, you can have more sauce" for example. Most of the time, I just don't serve condiments for that reason, but sometimes, we all wat them.
Same goes for my daughter, the meatosaurus. Sometimes she'll only eat the meat and leave all the vegetables and then ask for my meat. I'm happy to share my portion with her, but only if she eats some of her vegetables, too. She doesn't have to eat it all. But I just got too tired throwing out food (even though leftovers usually go to the dog or chickens).
The moral of the story is: at this age, feeding is certainly a dream. But don't expect it to always be that way or you're headed for bitter disappointment. But if you have laid a good foundation, the pickiness will only be a phase. Mealtime won't always be a dream. But it doesn't have to tun into a nightmare either.
I so agree! As I mentioned in the post, I don't have older kids yet, so I know it might not always be as it currently is. And it will be different when a well-balanced meal is really called for when breastmilk is out of the picture. There has to be a balance of teaching our kids *how* to eat (which would require some discussion, yes?) and nit-picking at them making every meal a stressful time. Like you said, it doesn't have to be a nightmare! Thanks for your comment!
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