Mommying My Way

Specific Praise

2012-02-23T21:12:00.000-06:00

In the Mom to Mom group I attend, we've been learning about using specific praise with our children. I have heard about the importance of this before, so it was not new to me. I had mostly only heard about this in regards to interacting with students, because, as you know, before I was a mom, I was a teacher.

With Burkley being so young, we hadn't much need for praise, much less specific praise. Our compliments to him mostly consisted of how cute he is and how much we love him and how awesome he is, etc. But, now that he is starting to make choices about his behavior, or accomplish new tasks, the compliments are more frequent.

"Thank you for listening" has been something we've found ourselves saying to him often. Early in our parenting, we had decided to try to shy away from phrases like, "Be a good boy," or "What a good boy!" seeing as how being "good" is subjective and also adds an unneeded pressure to childhood behavior. I remember feeling the pressure to be a "good girl" without reason for being good, other than wanting to be known as a "good girl." I don't remember if I put this pressure on myself or if I heard it from family or teachers.

Being "good" does not help Burkley earn our love, and so pressuring him to be "good" seems like it would be confusing and irrelevant. Besides, there is no one good, not even one.

My mentor mom (from Mom to Mom) gave my group the idea to compliment our children according to the Fruit of the Spirit. I thought this was a marvelous idea and promptly came home, told my husband about it, and we've put it into practice. The benefits, she said, would include the concept of specific praise, but more than that, getting our children familiar with the vocabulary and understanding of these Biblical behaviors.

"Gently" playing with his cousin

In practice, I've found us saying things to Burkley like, "That was very kind when you..." or "Thank you for being gentle with ...." and "That showed excellent self-control when you..." as well as "I appreciate your patience with ..." ... you get the idea. I know that Burkley is not quite old enough to even understand what we're saying, but since when has that mattered? We've always talked to him as if he does understand, and we know that as far as language development goes, children understand much more than they can speak very early on. Complimenting according to the Fruit of the Spirit has also made my husband and I more mindful parents. We look for certain attributes more carefully, rather than giving a blanket statement of "Good job!" after each "good" thing Burkley does.

Of course this doesn't mean that we never use "Good job" because sometimes we truly do think it's a good job when he fits a puzzle piece together or stacks a few blocks. But even then we try to be specific in describing what pleased us, so that the idea is not presented that he is a good boy for simply stacking blocks -as if good boys stack them and bad boys tear them down. No, rather we are impressed that he knows how to stack blocks, so we might say something along those lines.

While we haven't had too many instances of discipline yet, as Burkley is still young and not making too many decisions we disagree with, I assume the same thought process can be applied to correcting and shaping our child into an individual who demonstrates the Fruit of the Spirit. Using phrases like, "That was not very kind when you ..." and things along those lines, help to point out to our children where they could improve their choices in the future.

Of course not all of our compliments to him fall under one of the Fruits of the Spirit, but you get the idea. What ideas do you have for being mindful of specific praise?

Eating as a Non-Discussion Issue in Our Family

2012-02-21T21:59:00.000-06:00

A little bit before we started babyled-weaning with Burkley, my husband and I discussed how we were going to talk about food at mealtime in our family. We decided that it would be a non-discussion issue at the table. We will talk about our days, whatever is on our mind, but other than the "Yum, this is delicious!" or "Next time I make this, I'll add more (fill in the blank)" we would not talk about who is eating what.

You see, we want to raise our kids with table manners. Adults do not look at each other's plate and say things like, "Eat one more bite of those veggies and two more bites of the fruit!" Or, "If you don't finish that, no dessert." Or, "Just try it and then you can have more of what you like!" Imagine if we did talk to each other like that!

Rather, we decided that we would put healthy options on everyone's plate so that whatever was eaten was nutritious. We don't need to pressure our kids into eating certain things on their plates more than other things. Nor do we want mealtime to be a gamble, an argument, or some weird math problem, "Two bites of that and three bites of this and you can be done!" We want it to be respectful.

Now, of course I say this without having dealt with a child who can talk back to me or argue with me, nor have I had several children all whom like different things. But, so far with Burkley, this practice has paid off. It has alleviated much potential stress on our parts and has taught Burkley that he has the autonomy to make choices about his food. There are certainly things he says "no" to or waves away when offered, but when offered again at a different meal, nine times out of ten, he accepts it. I also know that whatever does get ingested will benefit him with nutrients that are good for his growing body. Choosing to not comment on what and how much Burkley eats (this includes trying to refrain from saying "Good job!" when he does eat) really helps make mealtime a peaceful time, without causing him stress or envoking anger in us as we altogether avoid begging our child to eat certain things. Mealtime can be a fun, enjoyable time of day.

Thankfully, I also know that my breastmilk will fill in the gaps, if there are any, for what he has chosen not to eat. This is another reason why I am careful to plan wholesome meals. Everyone in our family needs nourishment and food to fuel our bodies. But, my body just so happens to be able to supplement and partially fuel another body.

In our family, we are somewhat foodies. We love good food, frequently try new recipes, and enjoy cooking meals together. We truly do like the taste of healthy food from diverse backgrounds and flavorful ingredients. We are vegetarian. We hope and plan to raise Burkley (and any future children) in this same manner. Maintaining a positive atmosphere around mealtime and food is our goal.

Mealtime, for us, is also a time of reading, hearing, and sharing God's Word. After breakfast, as often as I can, I try to read a Psalm out loud. At lunchtime we pray together, and after dinner, we read a Proverb. I look forward to when Burkley (and future children) are old enough to read along with us. Right now, Marcus and I enjoy reading together and we have been doing this for quite some time. It has become a nice tradition in our family. Sure, there are meals that we have to quickly clean up from because we have somewhere to be, or we just plain old forget, but we really try to be diligent with these habits.

We love mealtime. What do you do in your family to keep the peace at mealtime?

Wordless Wednesday: First Haircut

2012-02-15T07:30:00.000-06:00

Schooling Burkley

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-06:00

Homeschool.
Unschool.
Play.
Learning.
Creativity.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, when observing how "smart" she thought Burkley seems to be, asked, "Do you have school time with him every day or something?" I was flattered by the question, and just laughed and said, "All day, every day!" I don't think he is necessarily any brighter or smarter than any other toddler I know, but I was intrigued by her question and certainly honored that she thought my son must certainly be being deliberately taught concepts each day.

Burkley and Daddy playing on the iPod

In reality, no, I do not do "school time" with Burkley, but man, am I excited to do so! We love to learn while playing and being creative and I often overhear my husband more intentionally, directly teaching Burkley than I ever think to do. They work on animals, colors, shapes, numbers, and letters. They work on body parts and names of clothing items, but I usually just sit and play with him, read to him, or let him play on his own.

I know that Burkley is learning all he needs to learn by playing and having the opportunity to get creative. I suppose you can say we are "unschooling" our toddler, but really, I think that's all everyone does with a toddler.

No, he did not write his name. ;) I did, and he then modeled it by scribbling. We love the bath crayons my best friend got him for this birthday!

Choosing a book, which he brought to me to read for him.

Exploring nooks and crannies is a daily occurrence.

When I set up my school room, I was so looking forward to the future days of teaching Burkley there. But, now that I've thought a bit more and observed other families a bit more, I realize that while we will eventually use that room at times for intentional learning, much of our learning will be done outside of those four walls. That's the beauty of homeschooling. I so look forward to that time in Burkley's life, but for now, I will enjoy each moment of his current learning exploration!

E.C. Update 5.0

2012-02-08T08:00:00.000-06:00

In addition to a breastfeeding update, I figured we were also due for an EC update.

He only likes to sit backwards like this.

Burkley's EC success waxes and wanes with the moods of a toddler.
Some days he rocks it and goes in the toilet pretty much all day.
Other days it's a wrestling match to get him to sit on the toilet long enough to finish going.

It's even more of a wrestling match to get him to lay still enough to get a diaper back on, which is why we are slowly working toward wearing Skivvies only. (Stay tuned for a review and giveaway coming in March for the famed Super Skivvies!) I have also ordered some "mama cloth" from Etsy to put in his undies, as I've heard that works well as a training pants option. Pulling up and down undies like this makes our lives so much easier as he seriously HATES having a diaper put on him.

Lately, we've had many adventures with poop. He'll go potty on the toilet and then scurry away and poop on his bedroom floor or some other place not intended for pooping. Or, and this is really impressive, he even pooped one time over the empty pant leg of his footie pajamas (they were only on his arms, dragging behind his nakey booty) and the poo went all the way down to the foot of the footies. Lovely.

Begging to get off the little potty

We recently invested in a little potty chair from our local Kids-Swap. It was only $5, so I figured, let's do it. Lately he's been signing for "potty" which is awesome, but it's generally while he's going in his pants or seconds after he finished. So, I was thinking that having a potty downstairs would help us get there faster than running upstairs to go on the big toilet. So far, he's petrified of the little potty. I had wondered how this was going to go because he's always only gone on the toilet, never a little potty. He also rarely actually sits on the toilet (I don't know why, maybe the seat is cold?) but rather insists on being hovered over it. He's getting really heavy for this though, so I'm ready for that to be over. The same goes for the little potty.

He will only go when being hovered over it.

So, we'll see. I don't push it with the little potty (besides, I hate cleaning it), I just show it to him, sign "potty" and see what he does. Often, he runs away. Sometimes though, he'll come up to it and sign "potty" and look at it. I'm letting him adjust to this little potty at his own pace.

When I agreed to buy this potty, I didn't know what color it was or what style it was. I do like that it has a cushy little seat (maybe he'll appreciate it too one day!) and has a lid that we can shut in between cleanings so the dog stays away. I also don't care that it is pink, as we're trying to avoid the whole "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing in our family.

Anyway, that is where we stand (er, sit? Wait- hover!) on the whole EC thing in our family at 15 months. The best thing about EC, in my opinion, is the undies. When we're out in public, he rarely goes in his skivvies and pretty much always goes in the toilet. It's nice not to have lay him on a gross changing table or mess with that at all.

Not washing diapers as often is also a major plus!

However, it can be tiresome doing EC in public simply due to the frequency of his need to go. Actually, this can get tiresome at home too. He goes about every 45-60 minutes and it can really interrupt our play and relaxation time. He stays dry during naps which are longer, so that is nice too.

We shall see where the journey leads us. I'll be sure to do an update when I get the mama cloth I ordered and give that a try!

Extended Breastfeeding 2.0

2012-02-07T15:05:00.000-06:00

I am finally adding to my predicted "series" on extended breastfeeding.

Burkley is now 15 months old and we are still going.
Typically (barring any teething or illness) he only nurses twice a day: before his nap and before bed.
Occasionally he'll ask for it sometime after dinner, which is fine with me.

During the night, he nurses two to three times (again, barring any teething, illness, or growth spurt).

He is such a busy, active toddler that he simply doesn't seem to think about nursing. If we are out and about and I sense he's going to either miss his nap or take it in the car, I'll try to nurse him so that he still gets a nursing session in, but he generally wants nothing to do with it. I am certainly not going to wrestle my child to get him to nurse.

When we do nurse, it is as if I am a jungle gym. I've heard of and read about this stage in nursing and I do find it pretty hilarious. He is often kicking my ear, slapping my chest (not in aggression, just liking the sound of a good "slap"), twisting his body around so his stomach and hips are facing out, yet his head is still facing in, and more. I don't have any pictures to share with you, but that's alright, I assume you can imagine it if you're not experiencing it yourself.

I do love that when Burkley has an injury, he will latch on and stop crying almost immediately. He normally won't stay latched on long enough to actually nurse, but it calms him nonetheless. It's such an easy soothing mechanism. I don't always offer it with every bump and bruise that toddlerhood offers, but I do offer it for the big ones (like crawling off his changing table and proceeding to somersault on the way down).

I also love the sweetness of toddler nursing. While nursing, he'll often unlatch and lean his body up in a baby-sit-up to give me a kiss. We also often use nursing as a time for learning: identifying facial features on both my face and his. It's one of the only times he sits still (though it's not always very still) enough to do this. He doesn't really sign for "milkies" anymore like he used to, in fact, now that he has so many words, he hardly signs for anything anymore. He does, however, pull at my shirt, or if it's a low-cut one, he'll just shove his hands down it (!) and say "please" or ask for a "snack." Mostly always the answer is yes, but there are times when the answer is no. That's the beauty of toddlerhood and though I do believe in nursing on demand, there are simply times when I just plain-old don't want to or am in the middle of something, or know he's only asking out of boredom and can be easily redirected and engaged in another activity.

Pink-teething-cheeks!

It is also interesting to me how breastfeeding gives me a way to know my child in another way, on another level. Of course, any parent can see when their child is sick, teething, or whatever, but nursing helps me cue into those instances in another way, and seems to be more intuitive to me. I often won't notice that he is teething until I notice that he's nursing differently. Then, the other cues (that may be more obvious to other parents) will seem apparent. It's almost like, Oh! That's why you haven't been eating much lately and have had runny diapers and pink cheeks! Duh!

What do you most appreciate about extending nursing?

Equipped for Toddlerhood

2012-02-06T12:51:00.002-06:00

My last post may have been a little bit of a downer.
But, alas, it was how I was feeling.

Now, though, thanks to your comments and suggestions, and the amazing list of resources my friends over at the Natural Parents Network gave me, I feel more confident and equipped to enjoy this season of life.

I hope to have many success stories to share with you in the future. Stories of allowing Burkley the freedom to express himself and be himself, right where he's at developmentally. I know that without controlling him, I can model for him appropriate behavior and guide him away from danger as he grows into and explores independence.

One of the resources I was given included this great list. I plan to print it out and hang it somewhere prominent in my home, as these are things I know I will need to be reminded of often. I want to note that I do have thoughts of my own based on each of these, and maybe I will do a blog series on them. I have a little addendum to many of them as I cater them to adhere to our family values and beliefs.

Declaration of Complete Confidence in Children

1. Adult-like behavior matures by the time we areadults.

2. No expectations means no disappointments for us, andno damaging pressures for our children.

3. Children respond best to modeling and leadership, notcontrol.

4. Trust... and wait.

5. Choose between your momentary convenience and yourlong-term goal for your child's sense of self.

6. Enjoy your child for who he is, not for who you wouldlike him to be - he will never be this age again.

7. Distinguish between your emotional needs and whatyour child feels and needs. Act toward your child in harmony with her needs;take care of your emotional needs elsewhere.

8. Celebrate your child's uniqueness as well as yourown.

Here's Burkley exploring our neighborhood "independently" as we watch and safeguard a few steps back.

Enter, Toddlerhood

2012-02-02T19:43:00.003-06:00

I know that technically Burkley has been a "toddler" since he started, well, toddling, but this week Toddlerhood (with a capital T!) has entered the picture.

He is still full of sweet silliness, but occasionally the other side of being 15 months old comes out for a visit. This side mostly makes itself known during mealtime. I admit though, that perhaps my stress level just is increased at mealtime. Since we began babyled-weaning, Marcus and I committed to making a mealtime a peaceful time, without arguing about food, nitpicking about who was eating what, and no force feeding. However, we also decided that we would not cater to our children's every whim (like making different meals for each member of the family), but that we would offer wholesome, tasty foods that they could choose to take or leave. There would not be any "eat three bites of this and two bites of that" because nothing on their plates would outweigh something else in nutritional value. Whatever they choose to eat will give them the boost they need to fuel their body. I say that this is our plan because I am still on this side of this situation, I have not gone through it, so I don't know yet if this will be attainable; it is just our goal.

However, Toddlerhood has challenged these ideals! Burkley has always loved to eat anything we've put in front of him. Then, he went through a little phase where he wouldn't eat anything unless it was with a utensil. Now, he just really doesn't eat much at all, particularly at dinner. He'll still eat almost anything for breakfast.

I know that toddlerhood involves testing boundaries and exerting independence. So, one means of troubleshooting the mealtime battles that we don't want to ensue (but are brimming below the surface) is to let Burkley sit in his booster seat at the kitchen table with us, rather than in his high chair. Lately he's been begging to get out of it and throwing food off of it, so we've been toying with the idea of letting him sit at the table. My only hesitancy with this is just that it's really a messy option. But, one of my dear friends helped remind me that maybe it would make Burkley more excited about sitting with us and he would maybe not try to get our attention by throwing his food. Alas, I do think that throwing food on the floor is a completely normal toddler behavior and I don't think he is being "bad" by doing it, but when we tell him "no" several times and yet he looks us in the eye and does it anyway, well then we have a problem. So, we're going to keep troubleshooting this situation. I don't want to yell at him, as I've tried that it just doesn't help, it only gets me more riled up. I don't want to get physical with him because I truly don't think he's old enough to make that connection nor remember it the next day. It wouldn't have a lasting effect. Some other means of discipline (and by discipline, I don't mean "punishment" but I mean shaping and correcting) include diversion, distraction, and anticipation.

So, by moving him to the table, I hope to divert his attention to the food in front of him so that he can't even see the floor below (which seems to beg him to throw food on it), distract him by engaging him in mealtime with the family, and anticipate his needs by being physically closer to him, knowing he hates the high chair.

This, unfortunately, didn't work out tonight. Now, some other factors were at play. He was overtired and teething. We had leftovers to eat and last night he gobbled this meal right up.

Tonight, he threw much of it below the table and then starting kicking the table to get it to move. He ate some banana, but none of his black bean burger or squash.

Anyway, this is about more than just mealtime. How do you gently, respectfully discipline a toddler? If you have any tips, please help. I know that I need to remember to use play as a means of diversion, more to relieve my own raising stress levels than anything.

I also know that consistency is key. And that anger is okay to feel, but I need to remember to not let my anger fuel my actions.

I am so thankful that God deals with me as a learning parent with grace and compassion. I need to deal with my son in the same manner. I'm excited for this fun stage of learning, playing, and growing into a little boy that Burkley is entering.

But, it sure can be exhausting at times!

Busy, Busy, Busy

2012-01-31T22:59:00.002-06:00

Life has been so busy lately.
I've hardly had time to blog much less time to think of a topic to write about.

Burkley is 15 months old now and it's so crazy what a big kid he's becoming.
He's "talking" more and more and this time of language acquisition is just fascinating to witness.

Some random things that are going in our lives and in my head include:

1. I've been weighing heavily the decision regarding the FIRST HAIRCUT. Man. I just don't know.

2. He is starting to "sign" for potty/poop more and more...though it's often after he went...but hey, that's something still, right?!

3. I'm trying to be much more intentional with my usage of time and my interactions with him. Makes life more enjoyable, for sure.

4. I don't like it that he is becoming a more picky eater than he's ever been. He changes his mind on what he likes mid-week, mid-day, even mid-meal.

5. We went to the Family Museum last week. It was so much fun. Can't wait to go back! Here are some pictures of our adventures. I really learned a lot about him, the things he likes, the things he doesn't like, and more. It was fun to watch him learn, have preferences, and see what he gravitated toward.


He hardly touches the legos we have at home, but these he LOVED!

Music time!

Blocks...just like we have at home, only many more.

He really did not want to touch the play-doh. He kept saying, "Icky!" But, finally he touched it with a tool.

At the pretend grocery store. He kept walking around asking, "Snack?"

Driving a tractor with Daddy

More music!

He LOVE, LOVE, LOVED these iridescent legos with a light-up table below.

He stayed here for about 10 minutes!

Only Two Speeds

2012-01-27T09:34:00.002-06:00

Does anyone else's toddler operate at only two speeds?
Nonstop
-and-
Stopped

That's it.

Our typical morning looks something like this:

Burkley sits up in bed and starts crawling around, generally trying to pounce on the dog who is sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed, on which I too am sleeping...peacefully.
The dog jumps off the bed, starting a fit of giggles from Burkley.
He starts babbling and walking around the room, strewing objects into his own path as he goes.
If the door's not closed, he'll run out into the hall to greet our Bearded Dragon.
He crawls under the crib which is sidecarred to our bed.
He shimmies behind the bed and the wall.
He climbs over the bedside table to get his face right in my face.
He stops to read two pages of a book.
He blows his train whistle and puts it in my face so I will do the same.
He goes into the closet, pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper.
He picks up the humidifier (which is currently unplugged and not in use, because, um, we haven't really had winter yet??) and walks around the room holding it. He drops it. "Uh oh!"
He brings me a book to read him.
By this time it has been about 15 minutes and the raucous has made me fully awake.
I get up, take him to his room and put him on the changing table where I proceed to take off his jammies and he proceeds to throw a fit because for five seconds he has to lay down and be still, which he's not. He's a mess of squirms and wiggles and I get off his jammies and his dipe, and take him to the toilet.
He sits on it (backwards), grabs the seat lid and bangs himself in the head with it a few times for good measure before peeing. Then, I set him down for a second and he dashes off, naked, while I use the toilet myself.
I start the bath water and chase him around the upstairs- generally he has poised himself on our bed to read some books and occasionally while sitting there, he pees (again- even though he JUST went two minutes ago).
I grab him and take him to the shower with me.
He plays with toys on the floor of the tub while I shower.
I get out, get dressed, and then prepare for myself for the BIG wrestling match that will soon ensue.
I grab his towel and get him out.
I dry him as quickly as I can before he runs off, nakey booty and all down the hall.
I slather some baby-lotion on my hands and run after him, rubbing it on whatever appendage of his I can, usually while crawling on my hands and knees chasing after him.

Then, I reeeeeeeeeally wrestle with all my might to get him still enough to get his diaper or Skivvies on. (Hey, speaking of Skivvies, did you vote for Burkley in their contest? We really would love to win some more skivvies!)

Clothes happen gradually. We start with socks, generally, because I can get him to sit on my lap for 2.4 seconds if I put something in his hands to entertain him while I slip those on at lightning speed. Then I attempt to slip a onesie over his head, get his arms through, and he's off again! I chase him around the room, gradually dressing him with pants and a shirt before thinking about combing through his ratnest-just-washed-bedhead. He does kind of like this though, so I grab him, take him to the bathroom, sit him on the toilet or on my lap and comb his hair.

Next, if it happens to be a day when he did indeed pee on the bed while nakey, it's time to change the sheets. Hey, let's be honest, if he didn't do this, I probably wouldn't change the sheets very often because I suck at that. So, in-between putting each corner of the fitted sheet on, I have to remove him from the bed which he inevitably climbed on. In-between the sheet, blanket, and quilt, I also remove him from the bed. By this time I've worked up a sweat and wondered why I didn't wait to shower until after this was done.

*Whew*

Then, we go downstairs for breakfast. I admit to leaving him in his high chair as I prep the meal AND clean it up just for my own sanity and rest.
Did you catch that?
Preparing and cleaning up a meal is considered rest at this point.
It's only 9:00am.

Manic Mondays: Counting and Jumping

2012-01-23T15:32:00.002-06:00

Today, after a morning of cleaning a house and interviewing to clean another one, we went out to lunch with my mom and then came home. There was quite a bit of driving around this morning, so Burkley took a snooze in the car, which means he is taking his nap really late today.

To kill time and burn some energy, we had some fun doing some counting and jumping.

He loves to climb up on the chairs in our house and stand up on them.
Today, we practiced jumping on the count of 3.
We hadn't done that much since this summer at the pool when he'd "fall" in on the count of 3.
Today we did it over, and over, and over.
One, Two, Three! And he'd jump into my arms with a squeal.

I love his giggles!

Wordless Wednesday: First Time Sledding

2012-01-18T07:00:00.000-06:00

Pull him in a sled: Smug delight


Send him down the hill in one: Sheer terror

Poor fella. No children were harmed in the making of this post. And for the record, he went down the hill on my lap. He hated it. It was a sad day. :/

So Much to Teach, So Little Time

2012-01-16T22:29:00.003-06:00

Lately I've been reflecting on how intense this job of parenting can be.

There's just so much I want to teach Burkley; so much I want him to know; and so much he is unable to comprehend at this young age. I find myself yearning for him to be older so we can play, talk, explore, and learn. I know we can (and do) do all of those things now, but it often feels like if we can't start now, I'm going to forget all I want him to learn! Just today it hit me that I've never sung the ABCs to him. I couldn't believe it. Not in a, "Man, how devastating" kind of way, but just...sheesh, how has that never occurred to me? He loves music...it's a kids' song...hello. I often assume that he will just learn things like the ABCs by hearing it in school or seeing it on TV. But, he doesn't watch TV. And he doesn't go to school. This is when the reality of my job hits me.

If I don't want him to spend much (if any) time watching TV and I don't intend on sending him to public school (not at first, maybe not ever?), then where will he learn about the world? Where will he learn how to read (and thus have access to oodles of information about anything his heart desires to learn)? How will he be surrounded with music enough to grow to love it and choose to use it to enrich his life? Where will he learn about our Savior and grow in his understanding of what it means to have faith and choose it for his own?

Right here at home and from the experiences he's exposed to and offered.
And that's a lot of pressure!

But, I will choose not to panic. I will not be anxious. I am excited! I am eager! A ready teacher waiting for an eager student. But until then, we will play, we will explore, we will laugh, we will sing, and we will LEARN every day in all we do. Because he's 14 months old and that's just what he does. Inherently. The pressure's off of me. He's going to learn because it's what his little brain is wired to do.

And it's so much fun.

Manic Mondays: Where've We Been?

2012-01-11T07:00:00.000-06:00

It's interesting...
I haven't been posting any Manic Monday posts because we have yet to be really "cooped up" this winter.
It doesn't even seem like winter has started. We haven't had any snow yet and right now it's a sunny 54 degrees!

However, we HAVE been a little cooped up for other reasons...

CHICKEN POX!


Day one. We were running a few errands and when I took him out of the car to run into the bank, I noticed he was really hot and super snuggly. When we got home, we took his temp and it was 101.7. I could tell he wasn't feeling well, so we made a "bed" on the couch with some blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and books.

Later that night, his temp rose up to 103.6, I put on Beauty and the Beast and Burkley laid there watching his first movie. He's never actually sat and watched a TV show or a movie (other than a few minutes of his favorite, Wheel of Fortune- the clapping hooks him every time) so we couldn't believe he sat there the whole time. I left after about 20 minutes to go somewhere and my husband took over. He said Burkley fell asleep right at the end of the movie.

Later that night, I came home to find my little booger really doing horribly. We changed to jammies, but unzipped them seeing as how he was super hot.

He pretty much lived on this couch/bed for three days straight. His fever hovered around 100 for those three days.

Then came the bumps! At first, I assumed it was a rash from the medicine we were giving him for the fever. I had forgotten that he's sensitive to red and blue dye and the cherry-flavored medicine we had given him to bring down the fever was red.

Then I noticed the "rash" spreading rather than going away.

This is when we decided to call take him to the Express Care doctor's office since our doctor had no appointments available for another few days.

The doctor took one look at him and diagnosed him with a chuckle, "Yep, that's chicken pox!"

We were told we were going to have to stay inside for 10-12 days, or until the spots all turned to scabs. We were going nuts with boredom. Well, I was. (Note the iPod: Parents of toddlers- there's this App called SoundTouch that is really fun for little ones- just get the trial version, no sense in paying for the full version. Burkley likes to play with it on Daddy's iPod or Poppy's iPad.)

However, the scabs started to form rather quickly! About two days after the doctor's visit, he was already mostly scabbed.


We kept him in for one more to be certain and now, a week after the whole thing started, he's totally better. His appetite is back, no fevers, no lethargy or crankiness, just a regular toddler back in action. :)

All in all, it was a pretty mild case, but I'm really glad he got them so young. He was young enough, and the case was mild enough, that he really never itched them. I'm also glad to never have to be wondering or worrying about when he's going to catch them as he grows. I do wonder, however, if he will ever get them again since his case was somewhat mild. I hope they were just bad enough that he is now immune.

And to answer the million-dollar question that everyone's been asking us...no, he was not vaccinated. :)

Life Without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be

2012-01-10T15:15:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener and gentler. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

After a discussion with a few of my fellow Natural Parents Network Volunteers, a few of us thought it would be fun to try to go a week without using the Internet as a means to live a more natural, connected life. We each determined what this would look like for us, and for me, I decided that since the Internet is my main communication tool, I would allow myself to check my Facebook inbox and my email once daily.

You see, my phone is in poor shape, being over 5 years old, and dies after about one or two minutes into a conversation if I'm not plugged in. It's like being stuck to the wall before the days of cordless phones and this is hard to master with a toddler roaming around the house. Not to mention, Burkley got ahold of my phone a week or so again and somehow got it permanently stuck on vibrate, so often I don't even hear it when someone does try to call me. Also, we do not have texting plans, so I really do use the Internet as my main means of communication. I even use good old AIM (remember that?) for my texting- it's free and I'm a much better and faster typist than I am a texter.

My mom gave Burkley an old phone of my dad's that is now his very own! So now he won't mess with mine anymore...hopefully.

So, I allowed myself to check my email and my Facebook inbox once each night while I was nursing Burkley to sleep. Turns out since most of my friends knew I was doing this challenge, no one was really trying to contact me.

It also turns out that the world without Internet was a very lonely place for me! I was surprised at how often I turn to the Internet for every day things without even thinking about it. I logged on to order a pizza, for example, without thinking twice. I also logged on to check TV Guide (we don't have cable and therefore no Guide on our TV). I noticed that without Internet, I found myself watching more TV than I would normally. I also needed to make an online purchase, so I logged on for that. In my mind, staying off of FB and email was really what was helping me to mentally be more connected to my family and logging on to do those other quick things didn't take much time.

And then, as you may have read, Burkley was having a terrible week. I longed for the support and advice from my dear friends at NPN. I gave myself five minutes to log on and share with them what was going and get some advice to help us out. I'm so thankful for them and I was able to get mentally recharged and armed with a few tips and pieces of encouragement.

Image credit: cnet.com

I also have formed the habit of surfing the Web while I nurse Burkley to sleep for his naps and bedtime. I've tried reading books and he mainly just likes to slap the pages instead of nurse, so I've found the computer works best for me to not just sit there bored in a dark room while he nurses to sleep. So, if I couldn't be on the Internet, what would I do? Well, I dusted off my old trusty pal from my college days: The Sims! I know, I'm a little old to be playing computer games, but I needed some mindless entertainment for a few 20 minute chunks of each day. Plus, it being Christmastime, it only seemed fitting, as my sister and I reflected: we always used to play Sims when we were on winter break from high school and college. However, I got to thinking that if I am going to be on the computer, I'd rather be on it connecting with real people than manipulating pretend people. ;)

All in all, taking a break from the Internet, while I didn't take a break entirely did help me focus more on interacting and playing with Burkley, I also mostly just felt disconnected and bored. I generally operate under a "no computer while Burkley's awake" rule anyway, so having some place to log on to that lets me connect with the outside world at the appropriate time is really something that helps keep me sane. My husband jokes that "addicts always have excuses" but really, I feel that this week showed me that I do not have an addiction, I just have a means of connecting that is easy and convenient and above all, desired.

So, I didn't actually go the whole week Internet-free. But, I did decrease the time I spend on the computer drastically, especially the time I spend emailing and Facebooking. Did I feel more connected to my family? I'd say I did a little bit. Did I feel more disconnected in other ways? For sure. So, what did I learn? I learned that I do need my Internet communities more than I thought. I also learned that while some days can get out of control, most days I use the Internet for connecting with others at appropriate times (while nursing or while Burkley is sleeping) and that for the most part (of course there are days when there are exceptions to this) my use of the Internet is not getting in the way of me connecting with my family.

***
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

Holiday Happenings: Part Three

2012-01-07T06:30:00.000-06:00

For what we did Christmas Eve, click here.
And to read about we did Christmas Day, click here.

New Year's Eve was very low-key for us.
It wasn't until mid-afternoon that we even decided to do anything.

After having dinner at my parents' house, my sis-in-law, her hubs, and their little newbie came over for the party of a lifetime!! Okay, it wasn't that hoppin', but still. And, I didn't really take many pictures. Apparently I took none of the adults.

Burkley thought Levi would enjoy a Ritz. He did not.

Burkley helping himself to the "buffet." At one point he had food in each hand, so he'd just walk up to the food tray and choose something with his mouth.

Levi, chillin' on his changing pad

Well, that's about it! Burkley went to sleep, the adults (plus Levi in the wrap) played games, we watched the ball drop, drank our sparkling grape juice, and called it a night!

Burkley and Daddy take a nap the next day.

Also, on New Year's Day, we had Christmas with my mom's side. This picture is terrible, but the room was so big it's hard to get the lighting right with my little point-and-shoot camera. This was only about half of her family, too! But, it was great to get everyone together. I even met the spouses and children of some of my cousins for the first time!

Holiday Happenings: Part Two

2012-01-06T06:30:00.000-06:00

You can see Part One here.

But now, on to what we did Christmas Day!

We give each other gifts in our stockings and then head over to my parents' house for breakfast.
Then, we open stockings and gifts and lounge around all day until Christmas dinner.

His first stocking experience. He kept wanting to go play with his toys and was entirely disinterested in what was in his stocking. Good thing I only spent $4 on the toys in there. :)

"Can I go play now?"

Stocking time at my parent's house! Here's my bro, hubby, and bro-in-law.

Me peeking out through a pile of gifts (not all for me).

My sis got me some things from her recent trip to Cancun and also a handmade calendar!

Sleepy head slept through all of breakfast and most of the gifts. Here he is after just waking up.

One of my FAVORITE gifts!!!! A bread machine! I've already made white bread, corn bread, and banana bread!

Burkley kept wandering off to gaze at the tree.

Hilarious- my sis brought him a book that he had left at her house during our last visit to Chicago. He was more interested in that than any of his gifts.

Yeah, these new books and puzzles are fun, but I'm not letting go of my long-lost book.

A maraca from Mexico! (Notice the book, not out of his sight!)

Burkley got some new skivvies which are stinking ADORABLE!

Christmas dinner! My mom makes a traditional holiday meal- basically it's Thanksgiving, but with ham instead of turkey. :)

Alrighty, here he's dressed and ready for the day. We always wear loungy comfy clothes on Christmas day!

He loves playing on Gramma and Grampa's stairs!

Peek! I see you!

Playing games...

Hanging with my sis!

Family photo!

My sis and her hubs

My bro with Burkley

A little game of peek-a-boo with my bro's girlfriend.

Holiday Happenings: Part One

2012-01-05T16:31:00.001-06:00

It was a busy holiday season this year, but of course, loads of fun.
We celebrated Christmas three different times and then had a quiet, yet fun New Year's.
I'm going to share what we did in three posts.

First, Christmas Eve:

We spend Christmas Even with my in-laws. Typically, we go to church, eat dinner, open packages, and have a gingerbread house contest! It's always great fun.

It always amazes how many presents there are. We do have a pretty big family, but still...

A bad picture, but the only one I have that really shows how cute his outfit was.

Each year at my in-law's, we have a different "theme" for Chrismas dinner. This year it was a pasta bar. Guess which kind Burkley chose?

My new little nephew, comfy in the sling. My sister-in-law pretty much kept him in there the whole time. No pass-the-baby going on here! :)

Okay, ONE person got to hold him...

A cute comparison of my mother-in-law (known as "Beeky" to the grandkids [long story]) and one of my nieces who just loves babies.

Family pic- notice how exhausted Burkley is.

Cousins! (Minus the little guy still in his mama's sling)

My youngest niece and Burkley are buds. She decided to dress him up "as a king." :)

He looks thrilled, doesn't he? ;)

annual gingerbread house contest

My brother comes over every year to judge. He even made a rubric!

The house my sis-in-law and I made

The winning house! Made by my hubby and his one of his sisters.

Zonked out after a long, fun, festive evening!

Wordless Wednesday: Comparison

2012-01-04T08:03:00.002-06:00

I really should find some more pictures to use for comparing Burkley and me or Burkley with some of our other relatives. But for now, here's one for you. Me at 12 months and him at 14 months.

He's Back! (and other updates)

2012-01-03T13:30:00.001-06:00

I have my kid back!
He was hiding somewhere in the world of two naps and early bedtimes.
You may remember my post about wondering what happened to him.

We are down to one nap and life is grand again.
After lunch, he goes down for several hours.
He goes down pretty much instantly.
He goes to sleep at night in a matter of minutes.
Hallelujah!
If I had only known it'd be that easy!

In other updates...

At 14 months, Burkley is just as hilarious and fun as ever.
He is a wild crazy kid whom we just love.
He has always been a very mellow, chill little guy, but lately his bravery and confidence is growing and he is enjoying climbing on things and being much more physical. He also started to snuggle more and more which is cute because he's never much of a snuggler.

He found this necklace in my closet. It was one I made in kindergarten. When he wears it, he walks around like is just a big hot shot. Too funny.

His vocabulary is expanding and I've been keeping a chart of all of his words. Some new additions are "nana" for banana, "hot," and "peeeeeese!" for please. He seems to have a pretty good vocabulary for a little guy, and it's a lot of fun to know that he understands much of what we say to him as well. His signs are coming along, though he is more likely to just say the word or grunt and point than use the signs like he used to.

EC is going well. He got a new pair of Skivvies for Christmas and now that we have three pair, we are using them more than we did before. He does well with going on the potty, but lately he's preferring to be hovered over it or over the tub rather than sitting right on it. This is only a problem when he doesn't go right away because he's getting heavy! :)

He loves to climb on this chair and stand up on it. He also loves to carry that Cheerios container around, shaking it like an instrument, and then pausing to open it and eat some.


And sometimes they all fall out of the container and he goes around collecting them...if he can beat the dog to it!

Nursing has decreased a lot- especially now that we're down to one nap. He is really only nursing before the nap and before bedtime. Occasionally he'll ask for it between breakfast and lunch or between dinner and bedtime, but other than that, it's really only twice a day. He is still nursing a few times during the night, but not for long at all. It's almost like he latches on only for a few seconds.

As far as food is concerned, he is getting a little more picky. Mainly, he's refusing bread! Any bread- pita, cornbread, sandwich bread, etc. It's okay to boycott bread, I suppose, as it's not full of nutrients he really needs, but it just seems odd to me. I mean really, who doesn't like bread!?

One of these days I'll do a post about all of the holiday fun we had, but for now, I'm going to lay down and take a nap with him. I'm still trying to catch up from the holiday madness that's behind us!

365 Days of Burkley

2012-01-01T19:12:00.000-06:00

Last year, on January 1, I decided to embark on a journey of taking a picture of Burkley every day.
I took one almost every day.
I missed a few days, but I fudged it a little here and there when he was wearing a different outfit and made it work. :)

What a difference a year makes!

My hubby and I decided that even though we post a lot of pics of our little guy online, the slideshow of this project will not be posted here since I can't control who sees it. 365 pics of our buddy is a lot. But, I still wanted to blog about it in case you're looking for a fun idea to do with your little ones this new year!

Who Is This Kid?

2011-12-28T12:41:00.000-06:00

Who stole my son and replaced him with this crabby, whineyone?

I don’t know if it’s teeth, decompressing from the holidaymadness, or just being 14 months old, but this week my son has been a bit of aterror.

He doesn’t want to eat hardly anything, so he thereforethrows what I offer him onto the floor. Thankfully, we have a dog who is veryhappy about this.

For bedtime and naptimes, he just wants to crawl off the bedand walk around the room, getting into mischief. Normally we just read booksand then he nurses to sleep. Now he won’t really even nurse, just suckle for aminute or so and then push off of me to go play. If I try to insist he stay andsnuggle and nurse (and hopefully fall asleep), he fights me with literally allhis might and then the tantrums begin.

When he’s awake, he’s often whining or saying “no” in awhiney voice really about nothing in particular. Or, if we say no to somethinghe wants, or take something away from him that he shouldn’t have, an all-outtantrum takes place. I’m stumped on what to do about this. He’s too young toreally understand punishment, in my opinion, and if I yell, he just thinks it’sfunny and starts laughing.

Of course, I started this post yesterday and today hasalready been going better. But, still.

My hubby is ready to move him out of our room due to themorning parties Burkley has been throwing for himself (I, of course, am alwaysinvited/required to attend.) This morning it was at 3:00am. We went in his roomand played. Until 4:45. Gah. Almost two hours! For most of that, I laid on thefloor attempting sleep with some pillows and blankets until he eventually cameup and laid down next to me at which point I nursed him to sleep. We laid thereon his floor for a couple of minutes and then I gently picked him up andbrought him back to bed with us. I can see how that is annoying to my hubbywhen he wakes up at 5:00 to go to work.

My wonderful co-volunteers over at the Natural ParentsNetwork suggested to me that maybe Burkley is ready to make the transition toone nap rather than two. Maybe for napsand bedtime he simply isn’t tired. I think this is a valid suggestion, eventhough I see the rims around his eyes turning red and his yawning, which arenormally early indicators of tiredness for Burkley. I don’t like to wait untilhe’s hit full on exhaustion because then it gets really bad. So, today we aretrying one nap. So far, he’s falling asleep pretty easily, but he did have amiddle-of-the-night party, so of course he’s tired. After this nap, I’m goingto try to keep him up until bedtime and see how that goes. However, I do wantto note that last week he had three days of only one nap and I thought that wasthe reason for his moodiness. But, then it was Christmas and we spent four soliddays with family, so I thought I would try to get him “back on track” with twonaps. However, maybe it does make sense to make now the time to try one napsince it’s almost like starting fresh with a new routine anyway.

In other (good) news, Burkley is really loving making animal sounds. His current animal sounds include those for a cow, pig, dog, monkey, snake, lion, and bird. Here's a picture of him doing the "mooo" for a cow. So cute. :)

Ten Things Only a Mother Would Do

2011-12-26T14:30:00.000-06:00

Often I catch myself doing or thinking something and then I realize, wow, only a mother would do this! So, I decided to compile a list. Of course, there are things that other mothers have done showing their love, dedication, and sacrifices that I have not done yet or have chosen not to do, so the things on this list are things that actually apply to me. :)

Ten Things Only a Mother Would Do

1. Pick another person's nose.

2. Go over a year without getting a full night's sleep.

3. Read the same book over and over and over. And over.

4. Do pretty much everything one handed.

5. Pick out earwax from another person's ear without thinking twice.

6. Cheer with excitement for a really awesome poop.

7. Wake up with a baby sleeping in our bed, unsure of how he got there or how long he'd been there.

8. Dance, sing, and act ridiculously goofy just for the smiles and giggles of a little person.

9. Snap pictures and shoot videos all day every day, not wanting to forget a single moment.

10. Think that the bigger the mess at mealtime, the cuter the kid.

How would you finish this sentence?

You know you're a mother when...

Mary as a Mama

2011-12-24T09:51:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking a lot this Christmas week about Mary as a mother.
As in, like a mommy, to her little baby.
All of the songs about Jesus in a manger, laying in the hay, have me wondering.
I don't doubt that she indeed wrapped him in swaddling cloths and put him in the manger, as the Bible says. If it didn't happen, it wouldn't be in there. However, how long do you really think she left him in there? What mother would put her newborn babe in a pile of hay and leave him there for long? I'm certain that she only set him in there for a little bit, maybe while she cleaned up the afterbirth or had the inkeeper bring her some food. Then she certainly must have grabbed her little one and held him close the rest of the night.

Photo credit: carosemavic.com

Also, I wonder what kind of birth coach Joseph was. Clearly Mary had an unmedicated birth. Was she prepared for it? Was it a fast labor or long? How did our little Lord do with nursing? Being fully human, yet fully God, did that mean he did not present his mama with any difficulties those early weeks and months? Or, was he a normal little baby, keeping his mama up at all hours of the night, not being neither "good" nor "bad" but just a baby?

Nativity scenes depict a peaceful, serene setting, and while I know there was Peace in the Christmas story, surely only hours before that peaceful scene came to be, there was moaning, maybe even screaming, crying, and a big mess. Little did the inkeeper know perhaps the stable was the best place to send the couple, for his sake--not having to clean up from a birth.

And, as I've been thinking of Mary as a mama, I've come to not envy her one bit. How odd it must have been to have a child that is your own, yet not your own. Knowing she had to raise him only to one day watch him die. To know that it was not her will that be done, but that of the Father's. What a heart for her Father's will. I don't think I will ever attain that dedication, try as I might.

And my, the pressure and judgment she must have received as the boy Jesus grew. People watching to see if He will trip up, misbehave, sin. The other mothers may have thought Mary was conceited, what with her perfect son and all. Did she make mistakes as a mom? I'm sure she did, she was only human. But, did they affect our Lord? Or was he wise enough and full of grace enough to overcome His mother's mistakes and carry out the will of the Father? Did he have to be disciplined, or was his discipline innate?

There are so many thoughts about Mary in our culture and throughout various sects of religions, but little do we think of her as a mother. Mary, as a Mama.

Photo credit: adeiinthelife.blogspot.com

I Am His Lovie

2011-12-21T20:19:00.001-06:00

Do your babes have lovies?
When I was little, I had a little stuffed bunny my aunt made me, which I named Lullabye. Cute, I know. I still have it.

So far, Burkley does not have a lovie. We'll see if one day he develops a liking toward a stuffed animal, blankie, or some other item.
But for now, I am his lovie.
He sleeps best when I am next to him.
If he's stirring, I can calm him by just laying a hand on him.
Another strange (to me) thing that calms him down is having his fingers in my mouth.
Ever since he could reach my mouth while nursing, he's had his fingers in my mouth. I know some kids suck on their own fingers. Well, my kid needs ME to suck on them! In the night, when he's stirring, if putting my arm across him and snuggling him close like I used to do with my own stuffed bunny, doesn't work, then grabbing his hand and putting his fingers in my mouth will usually work like a charm. Weird, I know. If none of those things work, then it's nursing that will soothe him easily.

You know, I think he is my "lovie" as well. It's gotten so that I can't sleep without him having to nurse. When he's sleeping in his crib (sidecarred to our bed) and I come up to sleep, I just lay there and lay there unable to fall asleep until he rouses and needs to nurse. I've found that it's become my habit as well to "nurse to sleep." I'm not sure if this is good or bad, as eventually I would like to sleep through the night without nursing. But, until then, we work together in a balanced dance of soothing each other and calming one another off to a listless sleep each night.

Laying in his crib before I come up to bed: I point the video monitor right at him so I can run upstairs and soothe him if he fusses without him ever fully waking up.

I love waking up to this sweetness every morning!

NPN Authors Blog Blitz 2011

2011-12-20T06:00:00.000-06:00

I am proud and honored to be volunteer with the Natural Parents Network (NPN), a community of natural-minded parents and parents-to-be where you will be informed, empowered, and inspired.

When you visit the NPN’s website you can find articles and posts about Activism, Balance, Consistent Care, Ecological Responsibility, Family Safety, Feeding With Love, Gentle Discipline, Healthy Living, Holistic Health, Natural Learning, Nurturing Touch, Parenting Philosophies, Practical Home Help, Preparing for Parenting, Responding With Sensitivity, Safe Sleep, and so much more!

The volunteers who dedicate their time and energy to make NPN the outstanding resource it is also spend countless hours informing and inspiring others on their personal blogs. To close out 2011, the NPN volunteers have come together to provide you with some valuable reading material. Each volunteer has selected either their most viewed post of 2011 or their favorite post and shared the link here. Please take a few moments to visit each post.

Our intention is to expand our reach as bloggers and informed parents and parents-to-be who are still growing as we move through our own journeys. Each volunteer has provided links to other social media sites where you can follow them as well.We hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as we enjoyed writing them. We are always looking for new volunteers so please, contact us if you are interested. Just a few hours per month can help other mamas in a huge way!

Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her Christmas Cookie Swap Blog Hop, which is her fourth annual virtual cookie swap and most popular post of the year. Please stop by and link up your favorite holiday recipe until Dec. 31. You can find Farmer's Daughter on Facebook and Twitter.

Adrienne from Mommying My Way shares Fear vs. Faith, one of her favorite posts about how often living a life of faith can look like a life of fear, but the two are really quite different. You can also find Mommying My Way on Facebook.

Alicia of Lactation Narration retells the story of her oldest daughter's 5 years of nursing and weaning in her favorite post of 2011, The Weaning Party. You can find Lactation Narration on Facebook and Twitter.

Amy of Toddler In Tow shares Finding My Mommy-Zen, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she shares her desire to balance her own self-esteem by choice in order to parent with peace and compassion. You can also find Toddler In Tow on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter, and follow Amyables (Amy W.) on Google + and Ravelry.

Arpita of Up, Down, and Natural shares one of her most popular posts titled Reflections. This is a beautiful look at the type of mother she wants to be. You can find Up, Down, and Natural on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares Why Do Children Have More Food Allergies Than Ever Before?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post explains the shocking info that one unsuspecting mother discovered when she started researching why her daughter had a violent allergic reaction to eggs. This is a must read post for ensuring the health of your family. You can also find I Thought I Knew Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Stumbleupon.

Christine of African Babies Don’t Cry shares The Best First Food for Babies, one of her favourite posts of 2011. This well-researched post delves into the healthiest and most nutritious food to feed your baby. You can also find African Babies Don’t Cry on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

Cynthia of The Hippie Housewife shares Gentle Discipline for Toddlers, her most viewed post of 2011. This post describes five gentle discipline tools for parenting toddlers. You can also find The Hippie Housewife on Facebook, Google +, and Pinterest.

Darcel of The Mahogany Way shares how Babywearing As a Way of Life one of her favorite post of 2011. This post showcases some beautiful woven wraps that she has purchased, traded, borrowed, and sold over the years. Darcel also talks about the benefits of babywearing from the newborn through toddler stage. You can also find Darcel{ The Mahogany Way} on Facebook, Twitter, Her Community for Mothers of Color, and Pinterest.

Dionna of Code Name Mama shares 50 Healthy Snack Ideas for Kids Plus Fun Serving Suggestions, her most viewed post of 2011. Most of these snacks are quick to fix and portable, so you can pack them to send with your child on play dates, at preschool, or to just have handy in the refrigerator for when your child wants to grab a bite to eat “all by himself.” You can find Dionna on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube.

Erica at ChildOrganics shares a post that is not only close to her heart, but also her most viewed post for 2011 titled Attachment Parenting in the NICU. This post shares her top 10 tips for parenting should you find yourself with a baby in the NICU. You can also find Erica on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen shares her personal experience of returning to work, expressing milk, and the ups and downs in between in her 2011 most viewed post, Mama's Milk. You can also find Gretchen on GFC, Blog Lovin', Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Isil of Smiling like Sunshine shares how to make an autumn tree using pumpkin seeds, her most popular post in 2011. This post features a lovely craft activity that you can do with your kids! You can also find Isil on Facebook and Twitter.

Jennifer of Hybrid Rasta Mama shares 80 Uses For Coconut Oil, her most viewed post of 2011. This comprehensive post provides background information on the benefits of coconut oil as well as outlines 80 uses for it. You can also find Hybrid Rasta Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

Jennifer of True Confessions of a Real Mommy shares her most popular post of 2011, Weekly House Blessing (Otherwise Known as Cleaning Once a Week). This post outlines a once per week cleaning routine for busy moms. You can also find Jennifer on Twitter.

Joella, the mama behind Fine and Fair, shares An Unusual Gripe with Bebe Gluton, one of her most popular posts of 2011. In it, she discusses the controversy surrounding a "breastfeeding doll" and offers her take on the gender role implications of dolls in general. Fine and Fair can also be found on twitter and facebook.

Julia of A Little Bit of All of It shares the story of how her co-sleeping relationship ended with her daughter, her most viewed post of 2011. This post shows how her daughter transitioned to her own bed on her 2nd birthday and the emotions involved for her mom. You can also find A Little Bit of All of It on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Kat talks about how she maximizes getting sleep and how grateful and blessed she is to have her parents be so involved in helping and spending time with her kiddos.

Kelly of Becoming Crunchy shares That Cup Does What?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post is one of a series of reviews and information on switching to all natural menstrual products - having heard so many different options and recommendations, Kelly decided to give a whole bunch of them a try and pull all the reviews together in one week for anyone interested in making the switch. This post in particular covers the ins and outs of the Diva Cup. You can also find Becoming Crunchy on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

Kristin of Intrepid Murmurings shares a popular post from 2011, something she and her husband made for their girls for Christmas, great for open-ended play and construction: Handmade Tree Blocks. You can also find Kristin on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.Lani of Boobie Time shares Helping a Fellow Breastfeeding Mom, her inspiration for starting to blog. This post discusses the importance of fellow moms supporting each other and some tips on having a successful breastfeeding relationship. Lani can also be found on Facebook.

Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door writes about finally entering "spring" when her child with special needs begins preschool. After battling post-partum mental illness (post tramatic stress disorder) after the preterm birth of her third child, she finally begins to feel healthy and whole again in "It's Fall, Ya'll-Again."

Lauren of Hobo Mama shares On not having an AP poster child, her (OK, second) most viewed post of 2011. Lauren's first child shook her certainty that attachment parenting meant babies never cried and toddlers grew independent — and that's all right, too. You can also find Hobo Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.
Luschka of Diary of a First Child shares Lactivism, Breastfeeding, Bottlefeeding and Mothers at War, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This post discusses how the breastfeeding/bottle feeding debate causes a division between mothers, leading to the alienation of women and babies, while divisive companies prosper. You can also find Diary of a First Child on Facebook, and Twitter.

Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how With Privilege Comes Responsibility, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This compelling post explains her strong felt desire to stand up for those less privileged. You can also find Living Peacefully with Children on Facebook.

Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings shares a Montessori-Inspired Checklist for Choosing Toys, her most popular post of 2011. The article outlines some important Montessori principles and how they relate to children's toys, translating that into some simple guiding principles. You can also find Melissa on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

Melissa of White Noise shares Modern Day Wet Nurse, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Melissa shares the benefits of human breast milk and human milk sharing. You can also find Melissa at Mothers of Change.

Momma Jorje shares Amniocentesis - What is it *really* like?, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This open and honest series offers not only the technical process of amniocentesis, but also the emotions involved in awaiting (and receiving) the procedure and a diagnosis. Momma Jorje can also be found on Facebook.

Moorea of MamaLady: Adventures in Queer Parenting shares Fluoride: Another Reason Breast Is Best, her favorite post of 2011. This post provides research on the harmful effects of fluoride in drinking water for babies and toddlers and ways to limit fluoride consumption in your home. You can also find MamaLady on Facebook and Twitter and her Parent Coaching Site.

Rachael at The Variegated Life is Calling the Muse in her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she describes how she uses ritual to help her tap into her creative spirit. You can also find Rachael on Twitter and The Variegated Life on Facebook.

Rebekah and Chris from Liberated Family shares Using Cloth In a Disposable Society, their favorite post of 2011. This extensive post provides a lot of information regarding the varied uses of cloth as well as the many benefits. You can also find Liberated Family on Twitter.

Sarah at Parenting God's Children shares her most viewed post: Confessions of a Breastfeeding Advocate: I Couldn't. She confesses her struggles with breastfeeding her daughters, but shares why she'll continue the good fight. You can also find Sarah on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Seonaid of The Practical Dilettante offers a science- and reverence-based meditation on The Living Earth, her most viewed post of 2011. This meditation was originally written for Earth Day, but it provides a way to reconnect with your place in the living breathing planet at any time of year. You can also find Seonaid on Facebook, Twitter, and Google +.

Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes shares I Recommend (But Moira Likes This Book Too), her most viewed post of 2011. This post is a review of a wonderful book that talks about all the different ways that families can be made up, along with some of why this topic is so important to her family.

Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares her experiences with tandem nursing in Tandem Nursing – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, her most viewed post of 2011. You can also find Sheryl on Twitter.

Stay tuned for some amazing posts from all of these tremendous bloggers in 2012!

Cosleeping: Our Story

2011-12-15T13:05:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival hosted by Monkey Butt Junction . Our bloggers have written on so many different aspects of cosleeping. Please read tothe end to find a list of links to the other carnivalparticipants.

***

There are many things parenting-related that I am passionate about.
Cosleeping is one thing that has really, really worked for us.
While I don't know that it is for everyone, I do know that it has really made our lives amazingly easy.

I remember that while pregnant, I was really interested in bedsharing and cosleeping and having my baby in our room. We didn't plan on bedsharing, but that first night when I finally had my baby home after a week in the NICU, I laid him in his bassinet and I laid in my bed...and...I just couldn't sleep. I kept peeking at him, wondering about every little sound he made (you know those newborn grunts and snorts!) and wondering if he needed anything or how I would know if he was really awake in there or just making noises. I also had gone a whole week of seeing my little guy sleeping in his bassinet at the hospital and I longed to just have him near me. So, I grabbed him, nuzzled up with him in the crook of my arms like I had read about in Dr. McKenna's cosleeping book, and fell peacefully asleep.

There was no turning back.

Burkley slept in my arms every night from that point forward until he was ten months old. People would ask how he slept at night, how often he ate, etc., and we hardly could give them a clear answer. After a month or two, once we had really gotten the hang on nursing, when he woke, I nursed him laying down and we all fell peacefully back to sleep. My husband, after the first couple weeks when he would help me get situated, soon grew to really love bedsharing. Neither one of us had to get up to go get the baby and neither of us were woken by a crying newborn, because when he would start to stir, I would nurse him and my husband never even knew what was going on. I barely had to open my eyes-- just enough to unsnap my nursing tank, get Burkley situated, and then close my eyes again.

At ten months old, things started getting pretty tight in our full-size bed. We decided to sidecar the crib. Now, at 13 months, he still only stays in the crib for the first few hours of the night, but it helps us settle into a good sleep with some space. He eventually winds up in bed with us around 1, 2, or 3 in the morning, which is just fine. Then we nurse and sleep soundly the rest of the night.

Recently, it occurred to me to put a little basket of toys and books at one end of his crib, so in the morning when he wakes up and I'm not quite ready to get up, he can entertain himself a bit. One of the best parts of cosleeping is being woken up by my baby each morning. His is the first face I see each day and it is so precious. Sometimes he wakes me up with a slap across the face (not meanly), sticking a finger up my nose, or I just hear him laying there talking and laughing. Now that he knows some signs, he will sometimes whip my covers off of me and sign for "milkies" or "more." It's really just heartwarming!

naptime

Bedsharing is only one way of cosleeping and I know it's not for everyone. Some moms I know wouldn't be able to sleep a wink with their kids in their bed, whether it be for fear or hurting them unintentionally, or because their babies flail around and make everyone have less sleep, or because for some, mom and dad's bed = playtime! But, for us, it works and it works amazingly well. Since Burkley was about three months old, I've more or less been sleeping all night, as has he, thanks to no one actually having to GET UP to take care of the nighttime feedings.

Another plus to cosleeping is that it has maintained our nighttime feedings, resulting in two awesome things:
1. My milk supply has never faltered, thanks to never going more than a few hours without nursing.
2. My period has still not returned...thanks to never going more than a few hours without nursing.

I really love that I can still bond with and be with my little guy all night long and am intimately aware of his sleep patterns. I love that my husband loves bedsharing as well and that it's helped him get good sleep as well as get in some good snuggles with Burkley.

*******
Thanks for reading a post in the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival. On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the #CosleepCar hashtag.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

*******

Emotive Co-Sleeping Campaign - Miriam at Diary of an Unconscious Mother talks about her feelings on Milwaukee’s anti-cosleeping crusade and its latest advertising campaign.
Why Cosleeping has Always been the Right Choice for My Family - Patti at Jazzy Mama shares how lucky she feels to have the privilege of sleeping with her four children.
Cosleeping is a safe, natural and healthy solution parents need to feel good about. - See how Tilly at Silly Blatherings set up a side-car crib configuration to meet her and her families' needs.
Black and White: Race and the Cosleeping Wars - Moorea at Mama Lady: Adventures in Queer Parenting points out the problem of race, class and health when addressing co-sleeping deaths and calls to action better sleep education and breastfeeding support in underprivileged communities.
Reflections on Cosleeping - Jenny at I’m a Full Time Mummy shares her thoughts on cosleeping and pictures of her cosleeping beauties.
Cosleeping and Transitioning to Own Bed - Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine shares her experiences in moving beyond the family bed.
What Works for One Family - Momma Jorje shares why cosleeping is for her and why she feels it is the natural way to go. She also discusses the actual dangers and explores why it may not be for everyone.
Really High Beds, Co-Sleeping Safely, and the Humanity Family Sleeper - Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama gives a quick view of Jennifer’s bed-sharing journey and highlights the Humanity Family Sleeper, something Jennifer could not imagine bed-sharing without.
Crying in Our Family Bed - With such a sweet newborn, why has adding Ailia to the family bed made Dionna at Code Name: Mama cry?
Dear Mama: - Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares a letter from the viewpoint of her youngest son about cosleeping.
Cuddle up, Buttercup! - Nada of The MiniMOMist and her husband Michael have enjoyed cosleeping with their daughter Naomi almost since birth. Nada shares why the phrase "Cuddle up, Buttercup!" has such special significance to her.
Co-Sleeping With A Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler - Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how co-sleeping calls us to trust our inner maternal wisdom and embrace the safety and comfort of the family bed.
Fear instead of Facts: An Opportunity Squandered in Milwaukee - Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses Milwaukee’s missed opportunity to educate on safe cosleeping.
Cosleeping: A Mini-rant and a Lovely Picture - Siobhan at Res Ipsa Loquitor discusses her conversion to cosleeping and rants a little bit about the Milwaukee Health Department anti-cosleeping campaign.
Our Cosleeping Story - Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares her cosleeping story and the many bonus side effects of bedsharing.
Cosleeping can be safe and rewarding Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares how her cosleeping experiences have been good for her family.
Adding one more to the family bed Lauren at Hobo Mama discusses the safety logistics of bed sharing with a new baby and a preschooler.
The Truth About Bedsharing - Dr. Sarah at Parenting Myths and Facts discusses the research into bedsharing and risk - and explains why it is so often misrepresented.
Cosleeping as a parenting survival tool - Melissa V. at Mothers of Change describes how she discovered cosleeping when her first baby was born. Melissa is the editor and a board member for the Canadian birth advocacy group, Mothers of Change.
Dear Delilah - Joella at Fine and Fair writes about her family bed and the process of finding the cosleeping arrangements that work best for her family.
CoSleeping ROCKS! - Melissa at White Noise talks about the evolution of cosleeping in her family.
Safe Sleep is a Choice - Tamara at Pea Wee Baby talks about safe sleep guidelines.
3 Babies Later: The Evolution of our Family Bed - Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment talks about how her family’s cosleeping arrangements evolved as her family grew.
Tender Moments - The Accidental Natural Mama discusses tender cosleeping moments.
Cosleeping Experiences - Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure describes how she ended up co-sleeping with her daughter through necessity, despite having no knowledge of the risks involved and how to minimise them, and wishes more information were made available to help parents co-sleep safely.
The early days of bedsharing - Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her early memories of bedsharing with her then new born and gets excited as she plans including their new arrival into their sleeping arrangements.
The Joys of Cosleeping in Pictures - Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares pictures of some of her favorite cosleeping moments.
Symbiotic Sleep - Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children discusses how the symbiotic cosleeping relationship benefits not only children but also parents.
Co-sleeping Barriers: What’s Stopping You? - Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares how she was almost prevented from gaining the benefits of co-sleeping her family currently enjoys.
Co-Sleeping with the Family Humanity Sleeper - Erica at ChildOrganics shares a way to make co-sleeping safe, comfortable and more convenient. Check out her post featuring the Humanity Organic Family Sleeper.
Why We Cosleep - That Mama Gretchen’s husband chimes in on why cosleeping is a benefit to their family.
Adding to the Family Bed - Darah at A Girl Named Gus writes about her co-sleeping journey and what happens when a second child comes along.

A big thank you to all of the Safe Cosleeping Blog Carnival participants!

Minimal Temptation, Minimal Gifting

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the December Mindful Mama Carnival: Staying Mindful During the Holiday Season
This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ. This month our participantshave shared how they stay mindful during the holiday season. Please read tothe end to find a list of links to the other carnivalparticipants.

***

It is often difficult to remain mindful in the holiday season.
However, some of the ways in which we as a family naturally interact with our society help maintain mindfulness during the holiday season.

Not as a rule, but just as a habit, we don't really watch TV in our home. We have a TV, and I do love to watch Biggest Loser (it's my TV weakness!), but other than that and the occasional episode of Wheel of Fortune, we don't really watch TV. This helps with not having to watch commercials that tempt us with ideas of material things we do not need.

Additionally, both my husband and I loathe shopping. I do not enjoy wandering around stores perusing items or snagging deals or any of it. I only go out when there's something I need. This helps greatly because being out in the stores is where many of us become aware of items we want or think we need.

Not watching TV and not shopping are not exclusive habits for the holiday season for us, we simply just don't think about doing them. These habits help us remain mindful all year long, but especially during the busy time of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

Last year was our first year with a baby in the family for Christmas. We decided that we would not be doing "Santa" and that gifts from us to our children would include Christmas outfits and an ornament for the tree. Thankfully, we come from a large family in which Burkley and our future children will have grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends who will dote on them. Our children will never be lacking for toys, books, games, clothes, etc. So, knowing I don't have to shop around for gifts for my children really helps us too.

This was one of Burkley's outfits last year. We get one for Christmas Eve, which is more dressy, and one for Christmas Day which is more comfy and loungy. And, also a pair of Christmas pajamas.

On my husband's side of the family, to increase mindfulness, we have a fun tradition. We used to do a gift exchange with all of his siblings and their spouses, but the past few years we have not. Instead, we pool our resources and have an annual Gingerbread House contest! It provides fun times together, great memories, and a cheap alternative to expensive gifts. Additionally, for both sides of the family, I try to make our gifts as often as we can.

Early on Christmas Eve, a few of us assemble houses.


Then later that night, after Christmas Eve dinner and the kids have gone to bed, the adults get to work creating! We randomly draw partners (so there can be no planning ahead of time!) and with a one hour time limit, we get to work. Then, my brother comes over to my in-law's house and judges (with a rubric and everything!) and announces a winner!

On my side of the family, we get up on Christmas morning, enjoy a breakfast together at my parents' house, and then open gifts. We do a drawing at Thanksgiving determining which sibling we will be buying for. We keep it a secret until Christmas morning and it's always fun to find out who was buying for us and to reveal the person for whom we bought! This is really helpful because then we each are only buying for one person, other than our parents. Otherwise our Christmas list would be so long and it would get confusing, stressful, and expensive.

Last year, my mom got my dad, my bro, my bro-in-law, and my hubby tickets to a game (Gosh, I don't even remember- was it for The Bulls?). They had fun going together!

My sister made me some ornaments! They are on our tree this year. :)

For us, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Savior, being with family, and enjoying each other's company. None of that has to include gifting, but giving gifts is a fun part of the traditional Christmas celebration. I do enjoy giving gifts, so I don't want to take that completely out of the picture for our family, but I do want to minimize it. This will help us remain mindful throughout the season.

This is the first year Burkley is actually noticing the tree. Rather than putting all of the ornaments high up out of his reach, I put Burkley-safe ornaments at the bottom-- jingle bells, fabric/cushiony ones, etc. He enjoys it so far!

***
Visit The Mindful Mama Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!
On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy #MindMaCar hashtag. You can also subscribe to the Mindful Mama Twitter List and Mindful Mama Participant Feed.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Enjoying Busy Times Moment by Moment Amy at Peace 4 Parents offers a handful of simple pointers to make the most of any busy season in your life.
Staying A Mindful Mama During The Holiday Season Terri at Eco-Crazy Mom shares her thoughts on being a mindful mama, while keeping your sanity throughout the holiday season..
Holiday Parenting: The Gift of Natural Play Moorea at MamaLady shares her holiday plan for mindfully spending time with children in her extended family.
The ABC's of Mindful Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama provides a comprehensive list of Mindful Parenting Resultions for 2012. In addition, she briefly reviews her mindful parenting journey for this past year.
The 123's of Mindful Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares part 3 of her Mindful Parenting series (Link will be live tomorrow, Dec 14).
Mindful Mama Guest Post from Hybrid Rasta Mama Zoie at TouchstoneZ is honored to share Part 2 of Jennifer's series on staying Mindful for the Holidays.
Saying No to Plastic Toys Nada at minimomist and her husband Michael, have certain rules when it comes to toys for their daughter Naomi. Here's how they deal with well-meaning gifts that don't quite work for their family.
Can you LOVE WHAT IS at Christmas? with so many expectations and no many people's needs to accomodate, Patti at Jazzy Mama has decided to simply accept what can't be changed and love whatever happens.
Minimal Temptation, Minimal Gifting Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares how not exposing herself to tempting purchases, as well as having fun family traditions, helps keep her Christmas list under control.
Choice And Consequence In Conscious Mindfulness Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares her realisation that consciously monitoring our thoughts have a powerful effect on our lives, regardless of circumstances or influences.
A Light in the Darkness Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about overcoming holiday blues through the miracle of motherhood.
Nature-Inspired Christmas Tree Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling describes how she and her children discovered the beauty and simplicity of a nature-inspired holiday tree.
Giving The Gift of Life Free Range Mama at My Healthy Green Family shares about teaching children how to look beyond the well-wrapped box and learn how to give. .
Can a collection of moments be more than the whole? Tat at Mum in search asks how do you turn a holiday from hell into a series of beautiful moments?
Flying Through the Holidays Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction discusses how a simple organizational plan has kept her holidays balanced.
Celebrating Advent week to week Lauren at Hobo Mama finds that counting down weeks instead of days helps children with the long wait.
5 Ways to Stay Mindful This Holiday Season Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares ideas and photos that help her stay mindful throughout the holidays.
Simplifying the Holidays Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how simplifying the holidays has made them more special for her.
Mindfully Managing the Mania Erica at ChildOrganics fights against "the gimmes" and shares strategies for staying balanced during a time of year when it's easy to overindulge.
Six Ways to Enjoy the Holidays Without Losing Your Mindfulness Rachael at The Variegated Life shares tips on thinking less, planning less, doing less, and remembering.
The Gift of Presence Darcel at The Mahogany Way explains how important it is to be present for and with her family during the Holidays.
Mindfully meditating on celebrations Dionna at Code Name: Mama hosts this guest post from Child of the Nature Isle about desiring meaningful celebrations for the whole year.
What Does It Really Mean? Staying Mindful Through the Holiday Season Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about how she stays in touch with what the holiday season means for her and her family, in spite of all the temptations to do otherwise!

Manic Mondays: Photo Shoot

2011-12-12T07:04:00.000-06:00

This week's manic Monday activity actually took place on Sunday.
My husband was lying on the couch all day sick with the flu. I was starting to get really bored, so I decided that since the weather was reasonably nice (meaning that Burkley will be fine for a few minutes in just a sweater) and Burkley seems to be feeling better from his weird 48 hour bug he had (and probably passed to my hubs), I decided to take him outside for a photo shoot. He was still in his church clothes and was just looking so darn cute, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Now, you may be thinking, "Don't you take a zillion pics of your kid as it is?" And while my answer to that is yes, I don't normally intentionally set out to take a zillion pics. This was much more intentional. We went out with this sole purpose in mind.

And, we had fun! It was great to get some fresh air and Burkley could show of his newly pretty-much-mastered walking skills. In the last few days he has gone from walking about 50-75% of the time and still crawling the rest, to walking about 95% of the time. He still walks with his arms out Frankenstein-style, but he's doing great.

And, considering the viewfinder/screen on my camera is busted and I can hardly see what I'm trying to take pictures of, I'm really pleased with the snapshots we got!

This one really showcases his bruised face from crawling off his changing table last week. Sheesh.

Music to my Ears

2011-12-09T22:02:00.001-06:00

Burkley loves music.

In our house, we have a room that has many musical instruments in it. They are mostly Marcus's instruments, but they are all safe for Burkley to play with. He loves to venture in there and strum all of the instruments: banjolele, two ukuleles, tenor guitar, bass guitar, acoustic guitar. There is also a small accordian and a mandolin with no strings that he likes to play with. My French Horn is in there too, but he doesn't get to touch that quite yet. :)

He knows how to strum the stringed instruments and enjoys doing so. He also has a play music table in the living room that he plays with OFTEN that has a little drum and xylophone on it, as well as a cymbal. He also has several handheld percussion instruments including egg shakers, tambourines, and other music makers.

I'm so happy that he loves music and I hope he grows to love it and learn more about it his whole life.

("rainstick" borrowed from Burkley's friend Marc)

You can't really see it, but he's got a little "violin" percussive toy here.

The music table that he got for his birthday.

Manic Mondays: Bundling Up

2011-12-05T17:27:00.001-06:00

Today we had an errands to run.
I'm determined to not let the cold weather get to us this year and prevent us from going out.
So, we bundled up and walked down the road to the dollar store.
This was Burkley's first time getting all bundled up. I bought him this coat last year on clearance, and hooray, it fits!
It was hilarious.
My camera is on its way to being busted, so I apologize for the poor quality of photos.
We were both laughing so much, this really was a fun moment. :)

At the end of this video I was fake laughing to see if he would keep laughing as much as we both were before I got the video camera out. :)

So...I know Manic Mondays are supposed to include ideas for indoor play, but today got away from us, he took two two-hour naps, and we were running some errands, so, this is what you get, folks! :)

Life Goes On

2011-12-02T10:51:00.001-06:00

Man, time just keeps ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking...into the future.... (haha, I couldn't resist)...but, for real, things have been good, uneventful, exciting, everything all at once lately!

We've been having some great times just hanging out together, playing with toys, reading books, and trying new foods. These days it seems Burkley does something new every single day. This week he's been imitating us more and more, whether it's silly noises, animal sounds, new words like "nigh-nigh" (when going to bed or nap), new signs (today he did "potty" for the first time), or just being all around silly, he really is a hoot. He's been climbing up and down our staircase independently too...which he's sort of been able to do for awhile now, but we've always hovered over him. Now, he does it when we're not looking...and is just fine.

He's also taken to screaming at the top of lungs for now apparent reason, with a huge grin on his face, like he's trying to scare us or something. Pretty hilarious.

This was taken mid-scream

He was helping unpack the Christmas decorations and I could actually trust him not to break anything. Though, he did take a bite out of a candle...

And yesterday, he enjoyed his first peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

So, while there's nothing terribly exciting to update you all on, I'm still thrilled to report that he is just as cute, sweet, and hilarious as ever. Being his mom just keeps getting better every single day!

Manic Mondays: Slacking

2011-11-29T10:02:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I forgot (again) to do my Manic Monday post. But, that's okay. We're not in the thick of winter yet where the boredom has really set it.

Yesterday, I went with some friends from my church to clean the house of a family from our church.
Their 14 year old son is coming home this week from the hospital, where he's been for almost three months fighting cancer.
Their house needed to be clear of all the dust and debris that had been accumulating there while the other three kids in the family have been trying to carry on normal lives with their parents coming and going back and forth from home to the hospital. (Wow, that was a long sentence.) Their house has had some renovations as well, so you can imagine the dust that coated everything!

We're so excited that this awesome fella is going to get to come back home with his family!!

The rest of the day consisted of doing a little bit of sewing and then mostly lounging around and then going grocery shopping. It was potluck night at our small group and I made sweet and sour vegetarian meatballs, which are simply delicious. I do modify this recipe a bit, mainly I don't use the nuts because they are expensive and the recipe is delicious without them. I also skip on the sage, simply because I don't have any (though I should get some) and I just use other seasonings as I see fit.

Anyway, so that was my Monday. Not very manic. And not very interesting. But, I do hope to hop back on the Manic Monday train soon and do some fun things with my little guy.

But...this weekend is Handmade City, so I must dedicate myself to crafting all week, as much as possible!
Meanwhile, as I type, Burkley is exploring the contents of my wallet.

Blogoversary!

2011-11-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

It has been one year since I started this blog!
If you want to check out my very first post, here it is.
So funny to look back at the things I used to blog about on my old blog.

This blog has brought so many new things to my life.
I have made new friends and found new hobbies.
This blog has helped me get involved with volunteering with the Natural Parents Network, which has been a great opportunity in my life. I've learned so many new things about natural, gentle parenting through them, as well as through reading the blogs of other NPN volunteers and followers.
It's so interesting how blogging creates a community of friends.
I love keeping up on the lives of my fellow blogging mommies and their little ones.
This blog also serves as a digital baby book, recording the day to day events in our family.
I can look back and see when Burkley learned new things and had various experiences.
It's a place I can write and share my thoughts on the things I try out as I learn to be the mom I want to be.
Because of the links I have there on the sidebar, I've learned many new things by clicking around and being led from one thing to another.
I've learned new tips and techniques on everything from nursing, to elimination communication, and from unschooling to discipline. While I won't be using ALL of these tips, the resources are there for me to read, ponder, and using discernment, try out. It's always enlightening to learn new things.

I'm so thankful for all of you who read, comment on, "follow," and "like" this blog. I'm glad you are in my life and that we are in yours. :)

Here's to another year of blogging and many more to come!

And just like my first post, I want to include a photo by the amazing Heather Wilson!

Fear vs. Faith

2011-11-22T14:58:00.001-06:00

Last night at our Bible study, we had an interesting discussion about how some extremes are really only divided by a fine line. We were talking about a person who feels so small, and so insecure, and so anxious, is really not that different than the person who feels they've got it all together, are strong enough to handle anything, and feel that they are in control. Neither person is taking into consideration the fact that God has their lives in His hands. To the small and insecure: Are you not more important to Him than a sparrow (Luke 12:7)? To the proud: Can you not humble yourselves enough to know that God will give you grace to handle all that comes your way (1 Peter 5:6-7)?

Please know that at times, I fall on either side of the fence with the two above extremes.

It is also interesting how the fear-filled person and the faith-based person can often look the same to an outsider, even in regards to parenting.

In regards to my mommying, I choose to live in faith.

Do I not vaccinate my child for fear he will have terrible side effects to the vaccines?
Or do I have faith that God will keep him healthy, that our medical professionals today have great knowledge and technology to heal him, or simply that my gut tells me now is not the right time? (Note that as of yet, we have not made any final decisions regarding the immunizations of our children.)

Do I sleep with my baby near me because I fear that he will need me in the night and I want to be near him always? Yes, sometimes. But, I choose to have faith that this is the way mammals were intended to sleep: near their young and nursing on cue. And again, because I have faith in what my gut is telling me is right for us.

What about birth? Talking with a friend today has gotten me thinking about before I was pregnant with Burkley, and how I wanted a natural, drug-free birth. Sure, I could have (and did) fear the effects of drugs on my unborn child and my progression of labor, but I chose instead to focus on the faith I have in my body to birth a baby on its own. I originally wanted a homebirth, but knowing I was moving mid-pregnancy, and also on the recommendation of my doula to perhaps consider a homebirth for subsequent births as her midwife had recommended, I went ahead and had a hospital birth. Thank goodness I had faith to follow my gut then, as Burkley was premature and we needed to be in a hospital at that time. However, that does mean that I fear homebirth for the next time, as I hope to with future children. My experiences in the NICU only reaffirmed for me my faith in the fact that God is in control.

Or take homeschooling, for instance. Some may choose to keep their children home from school out of fear. However, I will choose to keep my child home because I have faith in my God-given gifts and abilities as a mother and teacher.

There are many more examples I could give, but these are just a few. It is interesting how decisions can be seen in both lights. The world, my friends, my family may see my decisions as ones made out of fear. But, I could not disagree more. I make the decisions that I do because of my faith.

(Please know that if your decisions are different than mine, that does not mean I assume you act out of fear. We just have faith and convictions about different things.)

Are there decisions you've made based out of fear? What about those made based on faith? Could the decision look the same regardless of how it was made?

Manic Mondays: Balloon Fun!

2011-11-21T15:38:00.001-06:00

Today's post is part of a series I'm doing this winter on Mondays:
Each Monday I will post a new idea to keep you from going manic when at home with your little ones.
If you're like me, dreading winter, getting bored of the four walls in my living room, looking for some ways to have some fun and not go crazy, then maybe we can work together to come up with some fun ideas!

Okay, so I admit that today I didn't really need an activity because we are all a hustle and bustle with getting ready for Thanksgiving.

Today we were at the grocery store and I stopped at the flower counter and got Burkley a balloon to keep him occupied while in the cart. It proved for many minutes (hours?) of fun at home all day today.

He especially liked ~~talking~~ yelling into it.

13 Month Recap

2011-11-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

Holy smokes, Burkley is 13 months old.
I'm still adjusting to having a one year old.
Every day is so much fun and he makes us laugh all the time.

He is getting better and better at communicating and his favorite sign is "more," which he does often.
He also says, "Mmmmm!" when he sees us eating anything, or even if he just sees food on the table.
He signs "all done" after meals and tries to say, "Amen" after prayers.
He also recently started doing the sign for "milk" which we use when I say "milkies," referring to nursing.
In fact, the other day, he woke up, and while I was still a little sleepy, I saw through my squinted tired eyes that he rolled over, sat up, pulled the covers off of me and did the sign for "milk." Hilarious. I guess he was hungry.
He says, "Noooo," and will reach out to touch our noses.
He will say, "No!" when he knows he's doing something he shouldn't (like trying to knock over a lamp).
If you ask him where Kedzie is, he'll look right at her. Same with Mama and Dada.
Every time he hears a beat or music, he immediately starts dancing.
He claps anytime he sees or hears anyone clapping, especially at every turn of the wheel on Wheel of Fortune.
He loves to play "peek-a-boo" and pretend to hit himself in the head with his drumsticks.
His favorite toys are his music table and instruments.
He waves bye-bye and when he sees a little baby, his voice goes up really high as says, "Aaaiii!"
When I leave the room, he whines and cries, it's quite pitiful, but really sweet.
He pulls our hair and says, "Ow!" Yeah, I know, real nice.
He does the animal sounds for snake, lion, elephant, and his favorite, which he sometimes does without even being asked: monkey.
He's learned "feet first": when he tries to get off the bed or couch by crawling off, we say, "Feet first!" and he turns around and backs down with his, well, feet first. Such a smart kid. Just the other day I was vacuuming and I popped my head around the corner to check on him and saw that he was going feet-first down the stairs on his own, without being told or reminded!
He leans his forehead into our mouths when he wants to be kissed. Sometimes he bangs his head into our faces, which can be quite painful!
He pretends to read books, well, to him maybe he IS reading books, by pointing at the pages and babbling.
He goes #1 and #2 in the toilet pretty consistently. We use about 2 diapers a day.
He is STILL teething miserably and has been for weeks now. Some days are better than others, but he's still not back to normal.

He's not quite walking independently, but he's pretty darn close!!

(And yes, I admit, this is a bad example of letting your children do things when they're ready, I was pushing him a bit and it was bedtime and he was cranky.)

...and this is what he does if you give him a Kleenex with which to play

He loves to play with my mini-flashlight, which I use as a reading light in bed. One night, he threw it behind the bed. Daddy retrieved it using an old curtain rod, and Burkley "helped" by supervising...without clothes.

Oh, and he LOVES to chew on the radiator. We're pretty sure that's lead paint, so...yeah...we're working on breaking the habit. Sometimes hubby puts the baby gate over it, which is pretty ingenious.

He continues to be such a source of joy in our lives and I can't wait for all that's to come!

Manic Mondays: A New Series

2011-11-14T12:51:00.001-06:00

I've decided to start a new series called Manic Mondays!
Each Monday I will post a new idea to keep you from going manic when at home with your little ones.
If you're like me, dreading winter, getting bored of the four walls in my living room, looking for some ways to have some fun and not go crazy, then maybe we can work together to come up with some fun ideas!

The challenge for me will be having to come with something to do inside. Mondays are usually one day of the week I have nothing planned and usually even before Burkley's morning nap, I'm bored. Now, I'm all for going outside, and I probably will do that at some point today, but I can't be outside all day, especially when the weather is bad. And, let's face it, we're about to head into a delightfully Midwestern type of winter.

So, for today's activity, I Googled "Activities for One Year Olds." Clever, huh? The Internet really does have it all. And, I found this lovely idea. I admit, my kid might come up with this idea when he's older, but for now, with just a one year old, I'm the one who has to come up with the fun ideas sometimes.

So, I went for it. I tore all the pillows and cushions off the couch and threw them on the floor with gusto. Then, I grabbed the vacuum and cleaned the couch, which was much needed. Then, we resumed play. And it was so fun! He was laughing so much and really making good use of his developing gross motor skills. This activity actually lasted about a half hour, too, which was great for a one year old, I thought! :) It took him a good 15 minutes afterward to catch his breath, so I'm going to count this as excellent exercise as well as hilarious fun for my little guy.

Though we had fun, I'm not so sure what my dad would think...we won't tell him! ;)

Please share your Manic Monday ideas in the comments! Include a link if you've blogged about it! Help us all brainstorm ways to keep sane this winter.

E.C. Update 4.0

2011-11-12T20:33:00.001-06:00

I haven't done an EC update since September, so I thought I was due.

Last night I was over at my friend's house, and after I had taken Burkley to the potty for the second time, she asked me, "So do you basically just hover him over the toilet now and he goes?" We chuckled and I answered, "Pretty much!"

Of course we have our off days, but the majority of the time, Burkley has one miss a day, usually in the morning after breakfast (if I know that, you'd think I could catch it!?). So, that means, when he wakes up, he goes potty and poo in the toilet, we put on a dipe, have breakfast, and then the next time I offer him a "pottytunity" he's wet. We put on a clean dipe and the rest of the day he wears that same dipe (or Skivvies) until bedtime.

We don't practice EC during the night because, well, I guess I just prefer our sleep. :) I do so love only having to wash dipes and wipes about once a week versus the two to three times each week I was doing it. Well, honestly, I actually enjoy doing laundry, especially dipes, but it is nice to not have to mess with it as often.

My friend Sarah (mentioned above) joked that I should note all of the places Burkley has gone to the bathroom at his young age. I thought this was a funny challenge, so here goes:
* Home

Earlier this week- Burkley checking out his books wearing just his Skivvies

* Grandma & Grandpa's
* Beeky & Poppy's (my husband's parents)
* The homes of my siblings and in-laws
* Numerous friends' homes
* Museums
* Zoos
* Airports
* Restaurants
* Outside (hee hee) --parks, parking lots, picnics, etc.

Okay, so this list isn't that interesting because he really just goes everywhere.

The only problem I'm having is that I need to have more confidence in using his Skivvies because they are way easier to take on and off, which was the reason I got them in the first place. Taking on and off his dipe, cover, and clothes almost every hour is annoying and always turns into a mini-wrestling match because he doesn't like to stop playing to get changed. My husband won't go for the leggings look, which would help some, but really it's the dipes that are the annoying part. EC Wear is also an option, I suppose, but it is a bit expensive to buy a whole new wardrobe. In the summer it wasn't really an issue, I just let him roam around nakey or just in a dipe and t-shirt or prefold only, but now that it's cold, and our old house is cold, that just won't work. So, that's just one piece of the EC puzzle I'm dealing with, but I do think soon we will be able to rely more on the Skivvies and I'll get over my anxiety of having misses in them.

So, to sum it up, EC continues to go great. He's a star. I take him to the potty pretty much every hour. I still can only really read his cues for poo and I don't see any for potty, hence the whole "I just hover him over a toilet and he goes" thing-- which is a prime example of the "communication" part of EC working both ways. I communicate to him that it's time to go, and he goes. :)

Also, as an afterthought: I always used to think people who practiced EC were a combination of weird and impressive. It's still somewhat odd to me that I practice EC with my son and that it actually works. Pretty neat.

The Isolation of Parenthood

2011-11-10T10:40:00.001-06:00

Don't get me wrong, parenthood has brought many new and wonderful friends into my life.
I've developed many, many close friends that I wouldn't have if I had not had a baby.
I am a part of fabulous groups that teach me new things and help me grow in my walk as a mom and as a Christian.
Everywhere I go, people love on and coo over the baby.
So then, why is parenting sometimes so isolating?

Is it because I spend hours on end alone in my house with just my baby?
Or because ~~no one~~ most people only want to pay attention my son, and not me?
Is it because I cannot stay at events, social gatherings, anywhere for more than a few hours because if I'm not with my kiddo, he's upset/hungry needing me, or if I am with my kiddo, it's naptime?

Sigh.

It is more than likely all of these things combined.
Nonetheless, the joy of parenthood greatly outweighs the isolation and all of it is worth it.
But, I just wonder, can anyone else relate?

But, oh how I so love my sweetie-pants!!

Kitchen Fun?

2011-11-08T07:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

I LOVE cooking.

I have always dreamed of having a fabulous kitchen in which to cook.

The first five years of our marriage, we lived in a one bedroom apartment that had a small kitchen. I dreamed of having a large kitchen to work out my cooking skills. I imagined Chef Ramsey cooking with me, being impressed by my concoctions. I dreamed of making beautiful, delicious meals for my family and teaching my kids to love and excel at cooking one day.

Then, we moved into a house that has a kitchen that, well, leaves much to be desired. For almost the first year of living in the house, we had no stove. I cooked using a convection oven and a hot plate. This was not what I had in mind when I dreamed of cooking with our children in our home one day.

Then, my friend Sarah over at Parenting God's Children and her husband decided to get new appliances with their tax return money. And! They GAVE us their old stove! Alas, a stove. My culinary skills and passions bubbled just under the surface. Finally, I could unleash what I had neglected for so long. COOKING! BAKING!


Fridge for free (long story) and stove from Sarah!

But, I'm still lacking one thing...counterspace.

I'm sorry, you want me to cook where?

My counters are so low and I am so tall, cooking gives me a backache. I work on the kitchen table, mostly, which is what I'm told the generations before me used to do (our house has been in my husband's family since it was built in the early 1900s). But, I'm still not having much fun.

Making coffee with Daddy as a newbie

Before he was mobile, sometimes he'd sit under his high chair trying to lift it while I would cook.

At Aunt Brittney's apartment hanging out in the kitchen. My sis and I used to live in the same complex, so my apartment kitchen looked JUST like this (minus the cute decal tree on the wall).

It's interesting to see the things he can find to entertain himself while I cook.

Until we get our (my) dream kitchen, we deal with what we have, trying to be thankful because we know many other people have far less than we do. Thankful that I still can teach my son to have a love for food and cooking and provide fresh, wholesome meals for my family. And thankful that I can still dream of "one day" when I will have a much better kitchen in which to work. And one day, I really will have him help me, rather than just play on the floor with a box and a foil ball.

And in the meantime, Burkley has MUCH fun in the kitchen with his babyled weaning.

Sweet potatoes and rice

Plums!

This was after he systematically picked out all of the veggies to eat and left the pasta

Mexican...avocados, black beans, rice, salsa, etc.

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon November 8 with all the carnival links.)

Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
"Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.

The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a "high-needs" child.
Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler's Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime... — Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes...
Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children's most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won't you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
Grandma Rose's Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
A 4-year-old's smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she's trying to foster her son's trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.

Teeth Teeth Teeth

2011-11-07T07:14:00.000-06:00

Burkley has been teething like crazy this past week.
It started a week ago Sunday.
He woke up and I thought he was sick, but then I realized by how much he was chewing on his fingers and drooling, that it was teeth.

Playing with a friend on Monday- with his red, chapped cheeks

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, he was a mess of drippy snot, drool, red, chapped cheeks, sneezing, coughing, and a hoarse voice. Oh, and he wasn't eating and hardly sleeping.
Ha! I thought I had to worry about him weaning early!
No-sir-ee, he nursed every 1-2 hours like a newborn baby. Even his dipes were back to newborn style. I had forgotten what to do with these types of dipes because he pretty much exclusively poops in the toilet these days.

Then, Wednesday, he was better. Though by this time his nursing blister was so swollen, every time he'd bang his mouth on something, he'd cry out in pain. Come to find out, he had gotten a cold sore underneath it on his gumline. Poor kid, I hope he doesn't have his dad's tendency to get a cold sore every time he so much as looks at his mouth the wrong way.

Then, Thursday, he was worse again.

And then, steadily improving since.
Do your kids grind their teeth?
Burkley's been grinding his teeth when he's teething for awhile now.
It sounds AWFUL and besides the occasional drippy nose, it's how I know he's still teething.
That, and even in his sleep, I see him gnawing on his fingers and stretching out his sore jaw.

There's one way to get him to use a cold teething ring.

Thankfully, though, he's maintained his chipper spirit throughout the whole thing, which is what I'm using as my basis to decide that he's not sick, just teething.

And I've had several people suggest to me that it's his molars.
I knew about 2-year molars, but I hadn't known about 1-year molars!

Judging by his swollen gums, they're all four working their way up to the surface. :(

However, I do want to take a moment to advertise one of my new favorite teething products: Camilia. I found it at Walgreens and Burkley loves it. I like that it is natural and that it works. Check it out!

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 7

2011-11-06T09:13:00.003-06:00

Okay, I know I said I was done with this series, but I remembered one more thing I wanted to share!

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 , Episode 4, Episode 5, and Episode 6!

***

When I was little, I loved Barbies.
When I was a preteen, I still loved to play Barbies.
Throughout high school, I played Barbies with the girls I babysat.
Then, I decided to collect Barbies.
I always hoped that when I grew up, I'd have a room in my house in which to display my collection.
Dreams really do come true! :)

Old calendar pages adhered to the walls...

A place to play-- for my nieces and other little girls in my life.

Part of my collection

More of my collection

Barbie doo-dads


Wedding Barbies

Many people ask me if I want a daughter with whom to share my collection and love for Barbies.
My answer is no, I don't want to share! haha, only kidding.
But really, I secretly do want all sons...and besides, I will let my son play with them if he wants to.
AND, my love for Barbies is not at all correlated to my offspring. It is MY love. MY hobby and MY collection. :)

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 6

2011-11-05T06:30:00.000-05:00

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 , Episode 4, and Episode 5!

***

Some of you may know this, some of you may not.
I am part of a "business" called Little Lambs Birth Services.
This group is made up of two doulas and then me, and technically my husband, the childbirth educators.

My hubby and I teach prenatal/childbirth education classes.
It is SO much fun.
We teach about natural childbirth in a seven week series that includes topics like healthy and peaceful pregnancy, stages of labor, relaxation techniques, and breastfeeding. I love that my husband teaches it with me and I know our students do too.

We use a combination of curricula including The Bradley Method, Brio Birth, and some other methods and resources I've found in my research. We are not "technically" certified (yet?) because certification is extremely expensive and we just can't afford it right now. But, we have many resources and a good understanding of all of the material and we enjoy passing the information on to others. :)

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 5

2011-11-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 , and Episode 4!

Well now, aren't we all having fun with this series? :)

So, ya'll know that I'm a stay-at-home mom. Well, we are on a very tight budget and there are a few things I do to try to help earn my keep around here. One of those things is clean houses with my mom. My mom is a bona fide "cleaning lady" and I am her apprentice. Or, teammate. However you want to look at it.

Photo Credit: http://impactindustrialsupplies.com/

We have a few "clients" and we go to their houses, usually when they're not home, but sometimes that's not the case, and we clean their homes for a nominal fee. We enjoy each other's company and always go out to lunch together afterward. We clean the kitchens and bathrooms, wash and/or vacuum floors, dust, and do whatever else our clients want us to do- sometimes wash windows or throw in a load of laundry. I really do enjoy cleaning and it's nice to do it with someone because it helps pass the time a little more quickly and it doesn't tire me out as much as it would if I were alone.

Burkley "cleans" with us too. At the beginning of his little life, he cleaned with me while in the Moby wrap. Then, he moved up to the Snugli. Then the bouncy seat. Then the walker. Then a pushtoy. Now he just crawls and cruises around everywhere and entertains himself. One day he'll be able to just watch a video or read a book or something-- or heck, even pick up a rag and help us clean! :)

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 4

2011-11-03T06:30:00.000-05:00

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1, Episode 2, and Episode 3!

Today's "thing" is not some top secret confession, just a fun little fact.
I figure I should introduce you to the rest of our family.
We have three pets.
We had four, but recently are down to three.

Our first pet, we got when we were still dating.
She is a beautiful, sweet-natured trans-pecos rat snake.
She has big, adorable eyes, which is what "hooked" us- we had to have her!
Her name is Aphieme, which is Greek for "forgiveness." We chose that name because a snake or serpent is often associated with bringing sin and evil into the world. Really, we are all sinful, but praise God, we are forgiven!


This is not actually her, but looks exactly like her. All of my pictures of her are on our other computer, and I have a sleeping baby on me right now. :) Photo credit: http://www.snakeestate.com/

Then, as a wedding gift to Marcus, I got us a Bearded Dragon.
So sweet and so fun. Burkley really likes him too.
His name is Tanami, which is the name of a desert in Australia, a place that runs rampant with beardies, just like our yards are full of squirrels here in the midwest. Again, most of my good pictures of this fella are on my other computer, but this one's pretty cute :)

Last, but certainly not least, is our pup.
When we found out we were pregnant, we had a "Crap! We always wanted a dog first!" moment.
So, we went to the shelter and found this adorable puppy.
She's an Italian Greyhound (with a little something else mixed in there) and is a goofy, hilarious, spirited pup who brings us many laughs. She's a very good dog, and extremely social and friendly.
Her name is Kedzie, named after Kedzie Avenue in Chicago...a little reminder of where we used to live (not on Kedzie Ave and not actually *in* Chicago, but you get the idea).


It's hard to get pictures of her because she's constantly moving, but here's one to show you her size and shape. :)

Last summer, on my parents' deck.

She likes to sleep "in a circle." So sweet.

Stay tuned for more episodes of Things You May Not Know About Me!

Wordless Wednesday: 12-Month Pictures

2011-11-02T05:34:00.002-05:00

We were so fortunate to have my friend Heather take Burkley's 12-month pictures this week!
She just had twins three weeks ago, AND she has a 2 year-old, so although she did his newborn pics, and I was really hoping she'd do his 1-year ones, we thought the odds of that happening would be slim.
But! Because she's stinking AMAZING, she made it happen!

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 3

2011-11-01T08:16:00.000-05:00

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1 and Episode 2!

Okay, here goes:
I have big feet.
Like, huge feet.
Size 12.

From age 7-12, my age matched my shoe size. Thankfully when I turned 13, my feet stopped growing.
I always had difficulty finding shoes, especially when I was a wee lass looking for cute kiddie shoes and I had to shop in the ladies department. Still, there is only one place that I've found that sells size 12 in stores: Payless. I can order big-foot sizes from catalogs and whatnot, but as I've mentioned before in previous posts, I'm cheap, so that usually doesn't fare well as an option for me. Payless it is.

My shoe options are limited, but hey, I guess this is just how God made me, so I had to get over it.
I used to hate it when people would comment on it--like there was anything I could do about it.

Photo credit: clowns-lol.blogspot.com

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 2

2011-10-30T08:49:00.000-05:00

This is part of a series I am doing to help my readers learn more about me! If you're interested, check out Episode 1!

All this talk about "episodes" makes me think of Star Wars.
And, here's my confession: I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies.
Okay, there was one that I saw with my husband's family one Christmas when we were still dating.
I didn't really pay attention.

I don't even remember which one it was.

I went against my will!

Even though I've never seen them, and have no desire to see them, for some reason, I still "hate" Star Wars.
I have no clue why. Obviously I have no logical reason why.
jn 4´ΩΩ≈
(okay, Burkley did that last line, while flailing his arm in his sleep, and I'm leaving it because-- how did he do that!? How did he make those symbols??)
Anyway. Maybe I hate how people get obsessed with Star Wars.
Who knows.
I don't really like many movies anyway, especially not science fiction-- is that even what Star Wars is?

Image credit: Wikipedia

Things You May Not Know About Me: Episode 1

2011-10-29T07:11:00.001-05:00

I've decided to do a series called Things You May Not Know About Me to help my readers learn more about me. So, without further ado, here's your first little tidbit. :)

I used to do ballet.

I took ballet for 13 years.
Not from a cutesie little studio, like many of my friends, who got to wear fun, glittery costumes and have "recitals."
No, I went to a professional studio, that had a "company," and we had "performances."
I had to wear a uniformed leotard and had lessons four times a week and on Saturdays.
It was the best.
I'm not going to say I was the best, but I loved it.
I also taught ballet to the little kiddos there.

Photo credit: xxballerinaxxx.glogster.com

It was awesome. But, then, in high school, I came to the realization that ballet wasn't going to pay for college, so I quit and focused my efforts on developing my French Horn skills. And thankfully, my scholarship for that did help pay for college.

And the weirdest thing of all, in my opinion, is that although I haven't taken ballet for over ten years, I still dream about being in the classes, the studio, and on stage at least once a month. I just dreamt about it last night, in fact, thus prompting this post.

Why Our Son is Intact

2011-10-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to do a post on this for quite some time.
I know different people feel differently about this topic and I am not writing this post to start a debate or to persuade anyone in any way, but just to share my thoughts and how we went about making our decision. However, if you happen to disagree or even be persuaded, then that is fine. As noted before, this blog is about how I "mommy" and that's it.

So, why is my son intact?

The short answer:
Because that's how he was born.

The long answer:
I had never thought much about circumcision, I just assumed all boys were circumcised and that my son would be too. But, my doula (man, I've referenced her a lot in this here blog, she's pretty amazing), when teaching our Bradley courses, mentioned it to me and got me thinking. She too was pregnant with a boy at the time and was telling me how she and her husband were researching circumcision, trying to come to a decision. I, naively, didn't realize there was a decision to be made.


Photo credit: maashallah.com

So, she explained to me that it is very difficult to find unbiased research on the subject, and then sent me an article her pediatrician offers his patients and also sent me to Wikipedia. Obviously, as a researcher, I shy way from that source, but it is actually unbiased in this instance. I wanted to know what was done in the procedure and why people through the ages have chosen it or not.

I was struck mainly by the pain of the surgery on the infant boy. In other places, I saw horrible images of babies strapped down and restrained, which brought me to tears. My newborn belonged nowhere other than in the arms of his mama or some other loving family member, not strapped to a piece of plastic having pain inflicted upon him.

I learned there is no medical need to circumcise a healthy baby boy and my favorite phrase that stuck out to me was something like this: "Saying a circumcised penis is cleaner than an uncircumcised one is like saying an eyeball is cleaner without an eyelid." Ahh. So, the foreskin actually functions to protect the penis. Go fig.

Then there was the issue of, "Will he be made fun of?" And I learned two things.
1. From my husband: the kid who makes fun of him will be made fun of looking.
2. Circumcision rates worldwide are drastically declining. Only about one third of males are circumcised nowadays. Say what? If I circumcise my son, he will actually be the minority? Interesting.

Photo credit: forum.japantoday.com

Also, and I'm learning to apply this logic to other areas of my life as of late: Just because I'm worried what other people think, doesn't mean I need to change my mind. Take homeschooling, for example. Yes, I wonder (sometimes, I worry) what other people will think, but that doesn't mean I will bend on my convictions. Lately, I've been dealing with this philosophy regarding Halloween. And vaccinations. And, and, and....the list goes on. Since when am I willing to put my child's well-being below pleasing others? Nope, sorry.

Then there's the whole issue some people long ago raised with the idea that an uncircumcised penis "enjoys" sexual...well...feelings more. So, if we don't want our boys masturbating, we better circ them, darnit! Sorry, as my husband pointed out, that's not going to...well...stop them. And besides, why, if it feels better, would we alter that for our sons?

Finally, I know that any neonatal surgery can have an ill-effect on bonding and breastfeeding and I wasn't willing to do anything to compromise our breastfeeding relationship.

Anyhow. There are many reasons out there for not circ'ing, but these are the ones we discussed and our answers to them. I trust God made my son they way He intended him to be--without leaving anything there for me to "fix" or "correct". And I trust I can raise my son to be strong and stand up against bullying, knowing that man is made in God's image. And, I had to follow my instincts and take care of my son the best way I know how.

You're free to disagree with me. But I have yet to regret our decision and I trust Burkley too will appreciate that we respected him enough to leave him intact.

Burkley Came Home!

2011-10-26T12:56:00.001-05:00

Today is the one year anniversary of bringing Burkley home from the NICU!
He "graduated" and met all of his requirements in only 6 short (veeeerrrryyy long feeling at the time) days in NICU.
Burkley was born at 34 weeks and the neonatalogist expected him to have to stay in the NICU for weeks.

God is good and He strengthened our (not-so) little preemie rapidly so he could come home where he belonged! :)

This board was where the nurses and doctors kept track of all of Burkley's daily updates and everything. When we left, we wrote them a little note. :)

In the bassinet at the hospital, dressed and ready to come home...

All packed up, ready to leave his hospital room

At home, meeting Kedzie :)

Laying on his changing table- so tiny!

Some bonding with Mommy on the first day home

Daddy, in pure fatherly bliss!

"Extended Breastfeeding" 1.0

2011-10-25T12:16:00.001-05:00

I am numbering this post "1.0" because I assume, like my EC posts, there will be several updates to come in the future.

So, supposedly, if you breastfeed past the age of one year, or, in some circles, even six months, you are considered an "extended breastfeeder." It has always been my goal to breastfeed Burkley until he is two years old. When I say that, I do not assume he will be nursing much by then, maybe just before bed or some other time during the day, but seldom. In many of the parenting circles to which I belong, extended breastfeeding includes nursing preschoolers, tandem nursing, and the like. Additionally, these "older" nursers are not only nursing at bedtime, but still nursing throughout the day and even throughout the night. I've always admired these nursing dyads and felt confident in our decision to let Burkley nurse for the first two years of his life, at least.

However, I've always wondered: what happens when he turns 3 and still wants "milkies"? Would I just cut him off? How would weaning go? And then, I'd brush those thoughts aside, with the "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" mantra and move on.

As of late, Burkley has been nursing less and less...and less. I've learned through my study and research and also through hearing stories from many other nursing mamas that babies rarely wean themselves before the age of one. In fact, Kellymom says that most babes won't even wean before the age of two without pressure from mom. So, I assumed (happily, willingly, I might add) I too would be nursing for quite awhile. But, now I'm thinking that might not be the case.

Back when Burkley was about eight months old, he was eating SO much food that he was hardly nursing at all. So, we scaled back on the food and increased the nursing, for the good of his health and development. Now that he is officially one year old (!), I've been thinking about how to go about this. Talking with my amazing support system over at the Natural Parents Network, I've had to come to a harsh (for me) reality. Just because I am pro-breastfeeding, and willing and able to continue to nurse into toddlerhood, doesn't mean my child will feel the same way. Hmmm. I never expected to deal with this problem (see above--where I was wondering how to break it to my future 3 year old that we were done nursing).

In the past week, Burkley has, on his own, not "needed" milkies unless he is going down for a nap, which is only 2 or 3 times a day. He is still nursing a couple of times in the night, but since we cosleep, I hardly notice when he's nursing, nor can I always remember how many times he nursed, nor do I keep track of how long because once he's latched on, we're both back asleep within a matter of seconds. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I am not nursing him every 2-3 hours, like we did for so long in his little life. Take today, for instance: We got up at 7:00. He nursed. We went out to breakfast with friends and got back home around 11:30. When I pulled up at home, I saw that he had fallen asleep (without nursing! gasp!). However, I was "feeling it" and really hoped he'd wake up a little bit and nurse before falling back asleep in bed. He did, a teeny bit, but not nearly enough. He probably didn't even want/need to nurse at all- he would have easily fallen asleep with a cuddle and a kiss. After laying him down, I went and pumped, to relieve the pressure I was feeling, and figured I'd just put it in his sippy cup for lunch later.

So, I'm confused. He is only one. Like, barely one. I know the nutrients, antibodies, fat content, and everything else in my milk is still very, very good for him and important to his development. Do I keep letting him go hours and hours without nursing if he's not "asking" for it? I don't want to keep pumping and confuse my body-- if he IS weaning, then I want it to be slow and gradual and therefore not too painful or much of an ordeal. Oh, and did I mention that I HATE pumping?

I am hesitant for him to wean at such a young age also because now he is getting more and more mobile and social and therefore exposing himself to more and more germs and I know the nursing would help troubleshoot any oncoming illnesses. Also, and here's a biggie, my husband and I have decided to wait on vaccinating (if we do it at all), I mean, wait to even decide which, if any, we're going to do, until the big "W" word. (Weaning- for those of you who couldn't figure that out. :) I don't feel comfortable yet with vaxing my baby. I'm not ready to make those decisions (if I'm honest). So, I don't want him weaning! Of course, I do reserve the right to change my mind about the whole "we'll talk vaxing when he's weaned" decision.

Additionally, maybe I am following the "don't offer, don't refuse" method (which IS a weaning method), without even realizing it. I don't want him to wean yet, but I'm also not going to force him to nurse. When I do offer it to him, while he's awake and playing and not "asking" for it, he is certainly uninterested and generally won't nurse. Sometimes I can catch him around dinner time and he'll nurse, which holds him over until bedtime, but that's only a couple of times a week when that happens.

Well anyway. Sigh. We'll see where he goes with this. I'm letting him take the lead. He's just taking it a little too...well...leader-y for me at this young age. I will keep trying to offer it to him, but if he won't take it, then he won't take it. There's not much I can do about that.

What are your thoughts? Is it just because he's a busy one-year-old or is he gradually weaning himself? Have you experienced this with your nurslings? Please, share your experiences!

Burkley's Birthday Party

2011-10-22T22:07:00.003-05:00

We all had a blast at Burkley's first birthday party!
The theme was Dr. Seuss and we had a whimsical time!
So many of our wonderful friends and family came to help us celebrate.

Take a look...
(and- as far as photo-credit is concerned- I loaded my pics, my sister's, and my mom's all on to my computer after the party and they all got jumbled up, so I can't tell for sure whose are whose, but I think these are mostly my mom's and my sister's!)

Adorableness

Gifts! So thankful we got a lot of great stuff and were not overloaded with junk! Hooray! :)

Gifts!

Chili for lunch! Five kinds!

Frosting in the hair...classic!

A little Burkley shrine :)

He got an awesome train set!

More cake pics...we took a lot. ;)

I LOVE this picture- look at everyone photographing him! and look at him face-planting his cake!

My sis and her hubby, Dan, who has the same birthday as Burkley!

Burkley with his Aunt Lindsey

Family!

His mini 3-tiered cake

The big cake...we ended up not even cutting it...it took us HOURS to make this, but it was all for show, I guess! :) Don't worry- there was a different cake our guests ate.

There were quotes from this book all around the room.

"Bye, bye everyone! Thanks for coming!"

One Year of Parenting

2011-10-21T15:29:00.001-05:00

Well, we did it!
We've been parents for a year now!
We were reflecting last night after the day was done about how it seems like he's always been here.
We are so blessed to have Burkley for a son.

I have learned so much this past year.
I have learned to be silly and have fun.
I have learned that certain topics create much drama in mom-circles.
I have learned that some days all I want to do is stay home and snuggle and play with my Booger Bear.
Other days, all I want is to GET OUT and interact with adults!

Above all, I am so grateful that we are blessed enough for me to stay home with my son.
I wouldn't trade getting to stay home full-time with him for ANYTHING.
I know some people do not have this luxury, so for it I am truly, truly thankful.
I do not take it for granted, nor do I take it lightly.

I will blog more later about his party, because I know I will have to share how delightfully fun and cute it was, but it's tomorrow, and today, I have to bake. So, off I go.

But, here's a picture for you to enjoy from yesterday, Burkley's first birthday.

Burkley with his new toy- He's so talented, he can both play and conduct at the same time!

Birthday Giveaway Winner!

2011-10-20T22:11:00.002-05:00

CONGRATULATIONS GOES TO....

JULIA of A Little Bit of All of it !!!!

I must admit, doing this giveaway was a little hard for me! I want to make something for all of you! Send me a message on Etsy if you're interested in bartering or purchasing anything. And I'm sure I will do another giveaway before the holiday season, so stay tuned!

Thanks, everyone, for participating!

Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkin Dissertation

2011-10-19T07:47:00.001-05:00

Let's just say he was not so "wordless" at the pumpkin patch. :)

Guest Post over at A Little Bit of All of It

2011-10-17T12:14:00.003-05:00

Head over to A Little Bit of All of It to read my guest post regarding our own pregnancy loss in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Blessings to you! :)

Birthday Giveaway!

2011-10-16T16:27:00.000-05:00

In honor of Burkley's first birthday, I am offering a giveaway!
Head over to my Etsy shop and peruse my creations.
I will be adding many more as I prep for the upcoming craft show I am in this December.

The giveaway is for any item in the shop that your heart desires!
You could even win a custom onesie, if you'd like-- all you would have to do it tell me what size/color/design you want and it's yours!

To enter, leave a comment letting me know what item you would like and who it would be for if you won.
Extra entries for "liking" me on Facebook AND for becoming a follower of this here blog. (Is that just a cheap way to get more fans and followers? Maybe, but I've seen it done on other giveaways, so I'm allowing it.)
Leave a separate comment for each entry and a winner will randomly be selected. Be sure to leave your email address in at least one of your entries so you can be contacted if you win. To help ward off the spammers, it is best to leave your email address using the words for {at} and {dot}. So, for instance, your email address might look like this: plaidpeony{at}gmail{dot}com.

The winner will be announced on Burkley's birthday: October 20!

And here's a sneak peek of what I made for Burkley to wear at his Dr. Seuss birthday party!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2011-10-15T07:11:00.000-05:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
It also marks the two year anniversary of my ectopic pregnancy surgery.

My own story will be featured over at A Little Bit of all of It sometime this week. Be sure to head over there and check out Julia's story, as well as other poems and stories that will be featured this week!

It Just Keeps Getting Better!

2011-10-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Burkley is growing into a funny little person more and more each day.
Every day brings new tricks and silliness that just gets us laughing like nothing else.
In the past few days, he has learned lots of new things.

He's started to sign "more" to us-- in his own little way-- which is just too cute.
He's started saying "yeah" and "no" to questions we ask him. Sometimes his answer makes sense, other times, not so much.
He's started to give hugs and snuggles.
He is walking behind push-toys and pushing around other things that are not toys.
He is doing "So big!" "Cheeeeese!" (which is more like "eeeaah!" with a silly smile), clapping when we say "Yay!" and on occasion, if you say, "Burkley can you say 'one'?" He'll hold up one finger.

If he hears a beat or music anywhere he starts bobbing his head and bouncing his knees (if he's standing). He does this also if you so much as hint at dancing, like saying something like, "Can you dance?"

He is crawling and climbing on and over everything. He is fast!
He loves to be chased-- especially up the stairs, but even when he's crawling. He gets giggling and tries to go really fast, which makes him actually slow down and it's hilarious.
He likes to "try" to stand up and intentionally fall into my arms- laughing the whole time.
He has taken to pointing at the pictures as if he's pretending to read when looking at a book.
He giggles like a silly goofball when the vacuum is running. He could also sit there for what seems like hours examining the tubes and cord (when it's not running).
He does the thing where he uses his finger to pull at his lip and make funny sounds.
He also uses the back of his hand to make the "bah-bah-bah" sound with his mouth.
He loves giving hi-fives (and low-fives).
He is actually responding to our saying "no" by ceasing whatever it is we're asking him to stop. (I know this could be short lived.)

Also, a few days ago, he just quit using his paci. At this point he was only using it the first few minutes before going to bed when he'd finish nursing and just need a little bit more snuggling. Now, he just stops nursing and wants some snuggles. I tried offering him his paci and he would either grit his mouth shut (with his eyes closes, half-asleep) indicating he didn't want it, or he'd grab it and toss it a few feet away (still in his sleep). He's done this every day for every nap and bedtime that I've tried offering it to him for the past four days. Hooray! I think we're really done with the paci!! That was easy!

While I don't know what the next year is going to bring, I am so excited for it. But, before his first birthday next week, I'm going to relish these days of my little "baby" and all of the joy he brings to our lives!

Practicing saying "one" for his birthday next week! As you can tell by his mouth, he is actually saying "No!"- but he still puts up the one finger, which is pretty funny. :)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T07:30:00.000-05:00

Burkley and Mama-- 3 months

Burkley and Mama-- 11 months