"Should"

I've never been one to care what people think I "should" do, or what they think Burkley "should" be doing, for that matter. But as Burkley approaches the big ONE YEAR mark, I'm starting to feel a little unsure about some things.

I've always been one to proudly claim that parents should never feel bad about following their babies' lead or letting their babes just be babes. And I know our society often puts time constraints on when babies "should" eat solids, sleep through the night, wean, etc., that are way different than the worldwide norms. But lately, I've been wondering about some of the "shoulds" and I feel myself questioning what, up until now, has been my gut feeling toward things.

I guess I'm wondering about some things that I thought "should" or "would" be happening by now...

I know, deep down, that it is normal for babies, even through preschool age, to wake up during the night.
Then why do I feel like Burkley "should" be sleeping through the night by now?
I also know that babies, left to self-wean, can nurse for years.
So, why do I feel like I "should" be hiding the fact that Burkley will still be nursing past age one?
I also didn't think Burkley would still be using his paci from time to time at this point.
"Should" I take it away? He doesn't depend on it and once he's really asleep, he even reaches up and takes it out of his own mouth, and he refuses to take it anywhere other than in bed (i.e., he won't take it when we're out in the sling or in the carseat or stroller to help him go to sleep or calm down) so is it really that big of a deal?
I also feel societal pressure to give him cow's milk. I don't know why we've been raised to think ALL people "should" drink it, when it is not a necessary part of a well-balanced diet (provided one is getting those nutrients in other ways), especially when a baby is still nursing.
One question I do have in all honesty is: When "should" Burkley be offered three meals a day? Seeing as how he will eat whenever food is put in front of him, even though we're doing babyled-solids, I've had to limit what we offer him because his nursing decreased too much too fast back when we were giving him food ALL the time. Is it now safe to just let him eat whenever and not worry about how much he's nursing?
Sometimes I feel pressure from my friends about how much Burkley sleeps- "should" he be down to two big naps a day? (He now does two smallish one hour naps and one big two hour nap per day). Why does it matter as long as he's sleeping when he's tired?

Not to mention all of the developmental milestones...it's always so hard not to compare, but I *know* in my head, and even doled out this advice to other parents, every baby is different, plus, mine is a preemie. So, there have been times in his short little life where his same-aged peers were doing things that he "should" have been doing too, but lo and behold, a month later or so he would do it...rolling, crawling, pulling up, walking (well, he's nowhere close to walking yet), but you get the idea. I know he will do everything he can when his body is ready to do it.

All in all, it doesn't bother me that he still wants to nurse a couple times during the night, that he is still nursing at all (and I hope he continues for a long while yet), that he has a paci in his mouth for those first few moments of sleep, that we're opting to not give him cow's milk, or how often he naps-- none of it bothers me. So, I guess that is my answer. It doesn't matter what people think he "should" be doing. He is a healthy, happy little boy whose needs are being met and --bonus!- it doesn't really take much effort on my behalf to meet those needs.

His sweet, loving personality helps me forget about anything he "should" be doing anyway. :)

What about you? Do you ever feel pressure about what people think your kids "should" be doing? How do you deal with it?

Wordless Wednesday: Some new tricks

Well folks, we've got clapping down pat! (Pun intended)

Oh, and apparently this new face:

The Teacher in Me

Before becoming a mom, I was a teacher.

I taught first grade for my junior practicum in college, and then student taught first grade with the same awesome cooperating teacher. Following graduation, I got married, and we moved into our little one bedroom apartment in the suburbs of Chicago, and I got a job as an aide for four second grade classes in the same school district where I did my undergrad work. That year, my job as teachers' aide quickly morphed into running remedial math programs and accelerated reading programs for the second graders, as well as some first graders, in the school. I was no longer "aiding" anyone but the students. The next year I got hired to teach third grade at yet a different school in the district and did that for four years.

I. LOVED. IT.

I loved teaching, I loved the students, I loved my colleagues, I even mostly loved the parents of my students. I loved lesson planning and grading. I loved having fun with the kids and teaching them new things about our world. Darn it, I was a good teacher.

Then, through a series of random events, we bought a house from my husband's great-aunt and great-uncle, the house that had been in the family since it was built 100 years ago, and we decided to move back "home" where our families and roots were. Amidst all of that, I got pregnant. So, while we were living in Chicagoland, planning a move back to the Quad Cities, I was looking for a teaching job, but the positive pregnancy test let me off the hook for job hunting. Early on in the pregnancy I had several ultrasounds because of my previous ectopic pregnancy. At our second ultrasound, at about 14 weeks, I saw the little blob dancing and hopping about inside my uterus and I knew that no one else would be taking care of this baby except me. So, I stopped looking for work and resolved that I would be a stay at home mom. I just knew that this was what God had called me to for this season in life.

Later that fall, when Burkley was born, while it was a little weird for me to have all my teacher friends setting up their classrooms and starting off a new school year seemingly without me, I didn't really care. They asked me if I missed it and I confidently said, "No." I didn't. I was home with my little guy, happily in postpartum bliss, and maybe I was ready for a break from teaching anyhow. I didn't miss it one bit. I was also at that time working on my Masters in Public Administration and was gearing up for taking a different career route anyway, so I didn't really care that I wasn't teaching anymore. Additionally, a year or two before getting pregnant, I decided that for at least the first few years of our children's  education, I would be homeschooling (another post for another time), which kind of made me struggle to keep putting so much into a system that my children wouldn't be participating in anyway. But still, I battled within myself: God gifted me as a teacher, but God has blessed me with a child and entrusted me with him. How do I reconcile these two realities?

Fast forward to this fall, the one we are currently in, when my teacher friends are yet again setting up their classrooms, holding Back to School Nights/Curriculum Nights, parents are sending their little ones off to school, and I start to feel a little tug at my heart. I want to meet my new students for the year. I want to set up my classroom with everything freshly hung and labeled. I want to inspire young minds to dream, reach for new knowledge, have hope that they can make a difference, mold minds and character, and all of those other wonderful things you get to do as a teacher.

So, I decided to venture down to my basement where all of my school stuff was still boxed up. It was the room we had yet to unpack since moving into this house over a year ago. The room desperately needs a water-proofing paint job and some new lighting, as well as some outlets installed in more practical places, but still, I had a room that I could use for my "school room." One day during one of Burkley's naps, I began to unpack. I got a little emotional seeing all of the curriculum, books, learning activities, games, manipulatives, and more. Was I "wasting" my talents? My education? My experience? What about all of the kids I could help learn and grow? What about the time, money, and effort put into developing myself as the best teacher I could be in those five short years post-graduation? Is there a way to successfully operate within a system that is so messed up? (I believe it is, especially in Illinois, and I also believe there IS a way to be a successful teacher nonetheless--but, is it my time to be that teacher?)

Anyway, I started digging out all of my school stuff and set up a little classroom there in my basement. I am now teaching, very part time, the daughter of one of my good friends. We are doing preschool, just twice a week for an hour. I am also doing some tutoring. In the future, I hope to add more students to my school and run a little homeschool from, well, my home. I have some friends who have expressed interest for their kiddos to come to my school when they are older. While I fully believe that play is the best way for little ones to learn, this little one I am teaching really loves "school" and enjoys the semi-structured time I offer her to learn her letters, numbers, shapes, etc. I'm looking forward to teaching Burkley down here and any of his friends who want to come too. Stay tuned in the years to come for more info on my little home-school in my basement. :)

The school room!

My friend's daughter working on some schoolwork while Burkley looks on

I've since added a few more shelving units where the cardboard box is

I had A LOT of resources to file-- there's even a pile on top of those two stacked filing cabinets!

As you can see, we desperately need to paint, which is why I haven't hung the chalkboard or any posters yet. Plus, a sneak peek of my laundry room out that door there! :)

I think I'll always be a teacher at heart. We'll just have to wait and see how that truth plays out in different ways through the stages of my life. :)

Check out my friend Sarah's blog post today where she describes in more detail what I'm doing with her daughter! :)

Enjoying the Outdoors

We've really been enjoying these nice, fall days. They've been cool, but not too cool, and quite enjoyable. We've been playing at the park (he LOVES the swings, as is noted by his convulsing with happiness whilst swinging through the air), going on walks, and playing in our tiny little yard. It's so nice to be able to enjoy the outdoors in this season before we will be soon cooped up away from the frigid temperatures of the Midwestern winter.
Here's a little bit of what we've been up to outside:

Stopping to smell the flowers

Visiting the zoo

Playing along the Mississippi

Playing in Gramma & Grampa's backyard

Playing in our front yard

Practicing running

Biking

Playing with the ball!

Outdoor church service!

We wait outside for Daddy to come home almost every day.

He LOVES the swings!

Playing with my mom's foster kids

Going on walks!

Teething...on the ball

Hopefully we have a good month or two left of this beautiful fall weather!
What do you like to do in the fall?

Pausing to Reflect

Over the weekend, I attended the baby shower of a dear friend of mine. At the shower, an "older, wiser" woman spoke and did a little devotional, giving some words of encouragement to the mom to be. I was in the back, avidly taking notes. One thing she recommended was taking a few minutes very 6 months or so, throughout the lives of each of your children, and jotting down in a notebook (you could do one for each child) some thoughts about their development. She gave some suggestions of some questions to try to answer for your child including:
What's your child's favorite game?
What's your child's biggest delight? Biggest fear?
What's your child's proudest accomplishment?
How has your child matured emotionally? Mentally? Physically? Spiritually?

There were a few more, but those are the ones I remember without going and actually getting my notes, and as I blog with sleeping child on my lap, I'm going to just go with my memory for now. Anyway, I thought that idea was just FANTASTIC and am deciding to do it right now.

Burkley is 11 months today. Where has the time gone?

Dear Burkley,

You also make lots of funny faces!

So far, I would say your favorite game is when we come "out of nowhere" (usually from another room, or out from a hiding spot) to "scare" you. You laugh hysterically when we try to scare you. It's pretty fun. :)

Your biggest delight is seeing Daddy when he gets home from work, lights (specifically getting to do the pull-chain that turns them on and off), and fans. You especially love big fancy chandeliers, like at church. You kick your legs and wave your arms and giggle and get so excited.

Your biggest fear...hmm. This one's tough. I'm not sure that you're really "afraid" of anything yet...well, the sample guy at the grocery store kind of freaked you out once. :)

You think you are pretty hot stuff when you sit in the front seat of the car. Does that count as an accomplishment?

You have grown and matured in so many ways in your short little life. You are very social.

 You've learned your way around our house, how to play with Kedzie, how to greet people and flirt with them, how to eat pretty much everything, how to get where you want to go, how to crawl, pull up, and cruise along the furniture, you've learned how to communicate with Mommy and Daddy about going to the bathroom in the toilet, you've learned the sign for "milkies" is (which is apparent as you dive for my chest when I do the sign), and you seem to understand more and more language each day.

 I can't believe how big you are (not sure exactly, but I think somewhere around 21 pounds) and how you just keep growing stronger and stronger every day.

At this point I cannot say how you've grown spiritually, but we'll see what happens! :) Daddy & I pray for your spiritual growth all the time!

You are the joy of our lives and our delight. I cannot believe how fast time flies, but I also know there's lots of fun in our future!

Love, Mama

Fall is here! Playing outside all bundled up!

Wordless Wednesday: Some Funny Things

Planking while chewing on an old paci he found on his changing table. He didn't even know what to do with that thing, which was kind of funny.

bed head!!!

What does this thing do?

 

Hilarious!

Play Before Sleep

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

For the first nine months of his life, Burkley loved being rocked to sleep. When I say “rock,” I don’t mean in a rocking chair, because ours is too squeaky. I really mean he likes to nurse while I sit on the bed with him on the Boppy pillow, then snuggle in my arms until he’s zonked out and I lay him on my bed.

But, around nine months old, when he’d finish nursing, he’d literally push and kick to get off the Boppy pillow and out of my arms. So, I then began laying him on my bed and laying with him until he zonked out. But soon that turned into kicking and pushing and crying and fussing because he was overtired and crabby, but refused to sleep. Not willing to let him cry-it-out, I wanted to stay near my little guy without being annoying to him if all he wanted was his space. He would then choose to roll around and toss and turn and finally nuzzle in close to me and fall asleep. Once he was really out, I’d slip away quietly and leave the room.

However, in the past few weeks, that hasn’t been working either. To avoid me getting frustrated (and also to avoid getting my eyes/mouth/face scratched off and hair pulled by his flailing arms) and to prevent him from crying and fussing his tired self to sleep (note: we do try to start the nap/bedtime routine before he gets overtired), I’ve turned to playing before bed. Of course, this isn’t the loud, roughhousing type of play, but soft quiet play that calms him down and helps him unwind.

I usually start by grabbing his feet and kissing them, which distracts him from his fussing and makes him giggle. I then proceed to tickle and kiss his legs, tickle his hips (which are his most ticklish spot!), his arms,  and kiss and tickle each part of his face, naming the parts (nose, ears, cheeks, etc., I figure he could be learning while we do this, right?). He gets all giggly and then I turn the whole body-part naming event into a silly song, sung real softly to settle him down. He is then happy and not fussing and slowly gets more and more tired and more and more calm.

Eventually, he snuggles in close to me as I lay by his side and I softly hum the tune I was putting words to moments before in his ear and his eyes gradually close and he falls asleep.

These special moments mean the world to me. I’m not too focused on him getting to sleep that I let an opportunity to play and sing pass us by. And who wouldn’t want to go to sleep all peaceful with a warm, fuzzy feeling in their heart, like I imagine he does after those moments of soft, quiet play?

Hubby snapped this pic of us zonked out one morning before he left for work.

We get to play all day long together, but often he is so focused on his toys and crawling around everywhere that he doesn’t focus on playing with me, so I really cherish these special moments when we get to play together before sleep.

***
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
• Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
• Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
• Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.
• No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.
• I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.
• A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
• Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn't always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
• Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
• A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
• The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
• The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
• Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
• I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
• Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
• Playful Parenting = Extra Energy?? — Momma Jorje didn't think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
• Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
• Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son's well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
• Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
• Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.
• Playful Parenting — Or 5 Lessons My Son Has Taught Me About Parenting Through Play — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama has learned to be a better parent by following her toddler's lead in play.
• Hurry up! Hurry up! I mean it! Quack, quack, quack! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life leads a trail of ducklings
• On the Road: Learning to Play — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers her inner adult through a summer of playing with her children.
• Preventing Tantrums Through Play — Gaby at Tmuffin explains how she keeps her household happy by not taking things too seriously.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play — Lily, aka Witch Mom, redirects unwanted behavior in a toddler using games and play.
• Exaggerating for effect — Lauren at Hobo Mama has learned how to ham it up.
• Handling Big Emotions with Role Playing — Zoie at TouchstoneZ plays at tempering her parental frustrations while helping her children handle some big emotions
• How To Herd Toddlers by Talking Pictorially — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama demonstrates how talking in pictures is a playful way to engage your young child in transitioning from one activity to the next.
• Getting a Toddler to Go Where You Want…Playfully — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how a game of hide-and-seek can be used to steer a wandering toddler in the direction of her choosing.
• Playful Parenting: Chores That Do Themselves — Remember chores when you were a kid? If chores were this fun for Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey, she wouldn't have needed any reminders!
• Clown School Express: Playing away Fears — MudpieMama describes how she helped her boys confront their fears about starting kindergarten by playing with trains.
• Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.
• Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.
• Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family's way of life and making her an active part of her environment.
• Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.
• Play: A Wonderful Parenting Tool — Mamapoekie from Authentic Parenting offers a list of examples on how to use play in real-life parenting situations.
• Playful Parenting — a Book Review — Erica at ChildOrganics shares simple yet sage advice from Dr. Cohen on how play can change your child's life.
• Mock Threats: Turning Real Frustration into Playful Parenting — Threatening is not an effective discipline strategy, but Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains how parents can turn their frustration into playful moments by making "mock threats."
• I'm Sick of Yelling — I Want to Play — Alicia at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts realizes she needs to change the way she's parenting and is forming a new plan.
• Sing-along, Brush-along Songs — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares a few songs to make brushing her three-year-old's teeth more fun.
• Monster Voice — Ever have those frustrating moments with your kid(s) when you just want to scream? Amy at Anktangle shares a silly strategy for getting through those difficult times.

10 Random Thoughts

The following post is a conglomeration of thoughts I've been having this past week and events that have occurred.
And for good measure, some pictures too, taken by my friend Heather from Heather Wilson Photography (who is due with her twins in just about a month!!!)

 1. Since sidecarring the crib a week ago, our sleep has been terrible. I don't know if it's coincidence or if it's sidecar-related. Burkley got two new teeth this week, so that could be it. He is also eating more solids, which for him means less milk, which means maybe he's trying to make up his mik-calorie-intake during the night by nursing every 2 hours. Or, he's going through a growth spurt. Whatever the reason, Mama be tired (and therefore somewhat crabby)!

2. I am super-deeeeee-duper excited to be teaching prenatal/childbirth classes with my husband to his little sister and her hubs.


3. I am starting my in-house homeschool TODAY by teaching one of good friend's daughters preschool. This will just be very part-time, but I'm still excited. And I'm giddy at the thought of adding more students as some of other friends' kids get older.


 4. Had an interesting conversation with a friend last week about breastfeeding being an idol in some people's lives. That's a whole 'nother blog post itself, but a very interesting thought to ponder.


5. Summer is coming to and end and I am not happy about it. I've LOVED summer. I do love fall, and would ordinarily deem it my favorite season, but this fall means Burkley's first birthday, which I am excited for, but emotional about at the same time. And then after fall comes winter. I've never been one to complain about winter, but the thought of it for some reason is making me dread it this year.

6. It occurred to me that this October (pending any surprises) I will have gone two years without a period. That's pretty rad.


7. Yesterday I auditioned for the local wind ensemble here in the Quad Cities. I am quite excited yet nervous at the same time. I'm excited to get back on my French Horn since I haven't played much since Burkley was born (other than every day the past two weeks prepping for this audition) so I'm psyched to get to be in a band again. However, I'm honestly anxious about leaving B-- for three hours once a week. I've never left him for more than 2-2.5 hours and certainly not regularly (i.e., weekly) like this. I'm mostly only nervous because it is during his normal bedtime, and hubby is going to have to keep him up for me so I can nurse him before he sleeps. This could result in lots of crabbiness. Or, it could go fine. We shall see. I'm considering having the hubs offer him some other kind of milk (rice? almond? coconut? goats? still researching options) to fend off the meltdown. All that being said, I'm happy to have something to do that is just for me that I don't have to bring B to, even if it is to put him in the nursery. He will be home, I will be gone. That is somewhat refreshing.


8. I'm super excited about the Mom to Mom group we are starting at my church in a couple of weeks!

9. While I love cooking, and would even call myself a pretty dern good cook, my mom is such a fabulous cook and my hubby often asks me why. He loves her cooking. A. LOT.

 

10. Now that Burkley is mobile, he bangs his head on something pretty much every day. I'm thankful for resilient infant heads.

Wordless Wednesday: Preemies

This week's theme for Wordless Wednesday over at the Natural Parents Network is Preemies! Go check it out to see a couple pics of Burkley taken in the NICU as well as some entries from other parents of preemies! Maybe they'll make you as teary-eyed as I was when I looked through them all!

Here are a few more of my favorites for good measure! :)

That's all for now, folks. No more pictures.

Natural Parents Network Post

Hi, all!

I'm honored to be a volunteer at the Natural Parents Network, as a resource editor and now as an author. I'm excited to announce that my first article for the Natural Parents Network is up and live today! It is about the emotional components of nursing a preemie. Go check it out! And check out the other great articles there as well! :)

:)  http://naturalparentsnetwork.com

EC Update 3.0

I thought we were due for another EC update, as my last one was back in July. Of course, I've mentioned it in various posts here and there, but I haven't done a full-on update. So, here we go.

Crawling around, dipe free

Elimination communication is not potty training. It is listening to and watching for signs that your little one needs to go. In Diaper Free Baby, the authors explain that there are part time and full time ECers and I'd say we are somewhere inbetween. When we're home, we EC, when we're out, we try to EC, but aren't always able to. If we're at the homes of friends and family, we generally have more misses, but it's not uncommon for Burkley to use their toilets as well.

Playing nakey

I for sure notice a regression in my ability to read his cues and his desire to sit on the potty when teething is in full-throttle. There's usually a day or two per tooth when the teething is really bad (butt rash, drool, irritability, etc.) that he simply will not sit on the toilet. Our course of action is that I just put him on the toilet when he wakes up in the morning and after every nap. During the day, if we are home, I let him go diaper free and then I take him to the potty approximately every hour or so. This method of EC is called the "timing" method. Rather than waiting for Burkley to show signs of needing to go potty, I just offer him a "pottytunity" because after careful monitoring, I simply haven't been able to learn his cues. Poop, on the other hand, is much easier. When he's diaper free, or even when he does wear a dipe, I can tell he needs to poop because he gets really gassy (don't we all?), heehee. When he's sitting nakey on the hardwood floor fartin' it up, it's particularly hilarious. Then, I take him to the toilet, give a little grunt, and the dude lets loose! Splendid, I know. Additionally, with poop, I know he poops first thing in the morning and then one more time at some point before the afternoon hits. Once it's afternoon, I know we're in the clear for poop and I feel much better about letting him roam dipe free and/or going out, knowing we won't have to be changing any poopy dipes while out and about.

Both of us squealing with delight about his new skivvies

The latest tidbit in our EC journey is that I got him some skivvies! I ordered them from Etsy and they are simply adorable. He likes the lightness and non-bulk of these undies, as I can see by how much more freely he moves around. These skivvies are made in XS size, which is good because most training pants start at size 2T in stores. Plus, these are just cute. There is a little padded liner in there so if he does have a miss, it won't soak through to his clothes.

Overall, EC means less dipes for me to wash, which is better on our water bill, and it means more air time for B's booty. This means less rash/soggy-booty and front parts and more fun play time. I often let him play on a crib pad that is waterproof, but now that he's mobile, it's highly unlikely that he stays on it. I never thought I would be an ECing mama, but I simply love it. I think it's tons of fun to let him go on the toilet and he likes it too. I am not pushing my child to be "potty-trained" or anything like that, I'm just letting him go when he wants to go. If there are times when he wriggles to get off and whines because he doesn't want to go on the toilet, then no big deal! That usually means he doesn't have to go anyway. While I never expected to be an ECer, we all have really enjoyed it!

And, as with anything, there are those in my life who clearly object to us doing this, and again I wonder why we can't all just support each other. I mean, does it really affect you if we practice EC in my family? I don't see how it would. :)

Our Sidecar Arrangement

Burkley has always slept in our bed since the day he came home from the NICU.
We've LOVED bedsharing as it has made all of our lives incredibly easy.

We all get great sleep because there is no crying baby my husband or I have to go down the hall to get during the night. I just sense him tossing and turning and before he even fusses, he nurses himself right back to sleep. Over the past month or two, the frequency of his night nursings have dropped considerably and he's now only waking once or twice a night. As he's grown, space in our full-size bed has gotten tighter and tighter, so we decided it was time to break out the sidecar arrangement I've read so much about.

However, our room is dreadfully small, so I didn't so how this was going to be possible. I thought about bringing in Burkley's crib mattress and sliding it under the bed trundle-style during the day and pulling it out at night, but that would leave pretty much no room to even open the door to our room.

So, we got creative and did some rearranging. Now the room is really smashed/cluttered looking and very not feng shui (to my hubby's dismay), but we're going to try it.

Here's what we've got going on:

 

haha, nice pic of me in the mirror!

crawling baby = blurry baby

We took off the front rail of the crib and pulled it right up against the bed. With the crib on its lowest setting, it lines up perfectly with our low-to-the-ground bed. We put the crib in front of the end table because I have a lot of crap stuff that I need right by my side during the night (water bottle, fan, chapstick, phone, clock, etc.) and didn't think getting rid of the end table was practical. Plus, it also stores the monitor, books, and other bedtime things.

 As you can see, there are a few inches between the crib mattress and our mattress where there is open space. With the crib and bed frames right up against each other, there is still space and it's a little scary because Burkley could theoretically fall down in there. So, we got some bungee cords and connected the crib and bed underneath by the springs. That way the crib cannot move and roll (since it's on wheels) during the night. We also put some pillows there while he sleeps so he can't fall in.

Another angle-- the bed used to be where the crib is now and the dresser was on the wall next to the radiator.

We tried this sleeping arrangement last night. Hubby said he slept like a brick. Success (for him)!! He often jokes that he was down to a 1'x6' space on the bed on which to sleep, and I was kind of starting to feel bad about that. But, neither of us were ready to give up our cosleeping arrangement. So, we had to get creative. Last night, the first night of this, Burkley stayed in the crib till his first feeding, which was at the usual time (around 2-3ish). I even tried what Momma Jorje suggested to me and just laid my body over on the crib to let him nurse there, and that worked pretty well. However, due to some new teeth coming in, Burkley proceeded to want to nurse every hour after that. Part of me wondered if he was restless and fussy because he wasn't in my arms like he's used to, and while that is a possibility, today's drool, butt rash, and overall irritability and long naps proved to me that the issue is indeed teething. So, after the second time he woke up, which was only an hour after the first time, I just kept in bed with me. I did it somewhat by habit/instinct because when I woke up an hour later, I was surprised to find him in the bed with me. I must have fallen asleep nursing him without putting him back in the crib, just like we're both used to doing.

So, tonight we'll try it again! I think this will be a good transition to eventually being in his own bed when that time comes. He can get used to being in his own space while still having us in the room. Even if the room is a little un-feng shui. :)